You know how throughout the Oscars ceremony they show clips from the Best Picture nominees to build up the tension and excitement, so people will hang around until the end to see who won? Since I rarely go to all the nominated pictures, sometimes those clips are as much as I’ll ever see. There are a lot of reasons for this, starting with the fact that I’m a parent, I work a lot, I’m usually too tired/angry/cheap to go out, my husband would rather wait until everything is on DVD, and we just moved and we don’t know any babysitters in the neighborhood.
Also, movies are ridiculously long. Two hours is a lot of time (three if you count parking, popcorn, and previews). There aren’t enough hours in the day as it is, and I’m supposed to watch a nuanced reflection of man’s inhumanity to man unfold through a series of visual metaphors? I balk at watching anything on YouTube that lasts more than three minutes.
So it is that as a blessing to the time-challenged, whoever edits the Oscars broadcast picks 30 perfect seconds from each Best Picture nominee, 30 seconds that capture the dominant conflict and mood of the story. But what if you took your $100 million budget and blew it all on the Oscars clip? Set the tone, established a crisis, and resolved a story logically and emotionally in the time it took to finish a bowl of cereal. What would that look like? I have no idea, you’d have to be a genius to make something like that. But if it’s non-genius you’re looking for, I’ve come up with a few ideas.
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Photo of Taylor Kitsch: Frank Connor/Walt Disney Co.
Gallery Photos: PacificCoastNews.com and PRPhotos