Eight Ways Becoming a Mom is Like Going Back to High School.

Have you recently had a baby and suddenly realized that you’ve landed in a strange land with music you don’t recognize and TV shows everyone’s heard of but you? Do you not fit into your clothes but have no understanding of what people are wearing now? Do you have to make all new friends? Welcome to Baby High! Yes, becoming a parent is eerily similar to going back to high school. Here are eight ways they compare.

  • Books 1 of 8
    You'll read a ton of books that are full of information you will probably never remember in a few months.
  • Clothes 2 of 8
    The clothes: From maternity jeans to nursing bras, and on to pants that hide a muffin top, your wardrobe is going to go through some changes. Keeping up with the latest styles is just as challenging —just in a less flattering way.
  • Staying Up Late 3 of 8
    Staying Up Late
    Up all night: Staying up late studying ain't nothing compared to staying up all night breast feeding. The difference is now you can't do cocaine.
  • Making Friends 4 of 8
    Making Friends
    You have to make new friends: Instead of finding them in American History or the cafeteria, you'll meet them at your new mommy group or Target. But there's still nothing worse than wondering if your new friend isn't calling you back because she just isn't that into you or because she hasn't slept in four days.
  • Moms Types 5 of 8
    Moms Types
    The social circles divide into cliques such as Crunchy Moms who are passionate about discussing breast feeding and making cookies out of her placenta,Helicopter Moms who bond over their shared fear of foods that pose a choking hazard, and Crafty Moms who have never met an item they couldn't decoupage.
  • Sneaky Sex 6 of 8
    Sneaky Sex
    In order to have sex, you'll have to be sneaky. Doing it in your car, in the dead of night or … well not at all. You can always claim you're practicing abstinence.
  • Music 7 of 8
    Music: If you're not in high school chances are you've never heard the music of Skrillex but if you're not a mom you've probably never heard anything by Dan Zanes or Laurie Berkner. And you probably would never wear a Raffi Rules t-shirt. Well you probably wouldn't wear a Raffi Rules t-shirt either way. Unless it was on sale at Janie and Jack. If you're not a mom though, you've probably never heard of Janie and Jack.
  • Junk Food 8 of 8
    Junk Food
    Subsisting on junk food: Did you primarily eat mac & cheese, fish sticks and Ding Dongs while in high school? Welcome to the world of having kids and toddlers. If you have time to make a healthy meal you're parenting wrong. Or maybe that's just me. The point is, kids like fish sticks which is why high school cafeterias serve them every Friday and you serve them every night.

Want more from me on Babble? Try What’s So Bad About a Girl Who Won’t Wear a Tutu?  or The Best Part of Disneyland

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Article Posted 3 years Ago
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