It happens every year. Your kids’ school needs volunteers and somehow someway you always get sucked in to doing so much more than you mean to. It’s just that you have so much trouble saying no! Well, stop being a pussy! The people who do the organizing can smell your fear of confrontation and need to please from a country mile and if you don’t do something about it, you will find yourself heading up the annual giving committee, personally snapping every yearbook photo, answering phones in the office and bringing home the class pets. And that will just be Monday. Don’t worry, as usual, I’ve got a solution. Here are eight ways to avoid even being asked, let alone forced to volunteer.
Number 1 1 of 8Three words: Multiple Face piercings
Number 2 2 of 8Demand high-fives that you finally cleared a background check.
Number 3 3 of 8When discussing the next fundraiser wonder loudly if McDonald's caters.
Number 4 4 of 8Send out an email about your idea to shoot a "Hot Husbands of the PTA" calendar and state your intention to hold private auditions in your home.
Number 5 5 of 8Get the word out that you'd love your home to be featured on "Hoarders" in case anyone has an in.
Number 6 6 of 8Go to a committee meeting and say, "I'm sorry but that's not how we did things when I worked at Hooters."
Number 7 7 of 8At the next event yell, "We could all learn a thing or two about teamwork from those ladies on Dance Moms!"
Number 8 8 of 8Ask that people refer to you by your nickname: Lice Magnet
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