Kids And Dogs: Why They’re So Alike (Caution: Extreme Photo Cuteness)
In terms of cuteness, there’s no competition between kids and dogs. Actually, they’re more alike than not, says writer Pamela Redmond Satran in her new book Rabid: Are You Crazy About Your Dog Or Just Crazy?, an utterly amusing look at America’s obsessions with dogs. These days, our four-legged friends enjoy organic cheese treats, homemade Etsy toys and hand-smocked dresses. Yep, spoiled dogs are the new spoiled kids. (Mercifully, nobody’s yet written What To Expect When You’re Expecting A Puppy.)
“Dogs have the developmental capacity of a two-year-old, according to some studies, and are capable of understanding something shy of two hundred words,” reports Satran, who blogs at Rabid and is also author of the New York Times bestseller How Not to Act Old.
People also tend to talk to their “fur babies” in the same high-pitched tones and simple words they use with kids, she points out. And both canines and tots need firm yet loving guidance. The comparisons end, she says, “in the depths of adolescence, when Cujo would be more lovable than some teenagers.”
Here, adapted from the book, is Satran’s look at the charms and perils of dogs and kids—and who holds the advantage at every stage.
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Dogs vs kids
Dogs
Have to buy them.
Kids
In many cases, can make them yourself, using equipment you probably have lying around the house.
Photo credit: Flickr/overdrive_cz -
Advantage:
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Dogs vs. kids
Dogs
Can choose breed, markings, gender, and size.
Kids
Pretty much have to take whatever you get.
Photo credit: Flickr/Leszek Leszcynski -
Advantage:
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Dogs vs. kids
Dogs
Housebreaking
Kids
Toilet training
Photo credit: Flickr/thatedeguy -
Advantage:
Kids (although if you are in the throes of toilet training, you might beg to differ).
Photo credit: Flickr/Russ -
Dogs vs. kids
Dogs
Favorite food: canned duck in "meaty juices."
Kids
Favorite food: frozen chicken nuggets with ketchup.
Photo credit: Flickr/Kona Gallagher -
Advantage:
It's a draw!
Photo credit: Flickr/Don Lavenge -
Dogs vs. kids
Dogs
Chewed heel off favorite Prada pump.
Kids
Crayoned on favorite white silk blouse.
Photo credit: Flickr/BuzzFarmers -
Advantage:
It's a draw!
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Dogs vs. kids
Dogs
Spends day at pricey doggie day care.
Kids
Pricey day care can eventually morph into free public school.
Photo credit: Flickr/F. Garcia -
Advantage:
-
Dogs vs. kids
Dogs
Licks your face
Kids
Says, "You're the biggest, smartest, strongest, most beautiful person in the world."
Photo credit: Flickr/Jay Malone -
Advantage:
-
Dogs vs. kids
Dogs
Birthday? What's a birthday?
Kids
Demands overpriced toys, electronic goods or jeans for birthday.
Photo credit: Flickr/Freebird -
Advantage:
-
Dogs vs. kids
Dogs
Still licking your face
Kids
Say, "You're the most horrible person on earth."
Photo credit: Flickr/Cathy Stanley-Erickson -
Advantage:
-
Dogs vs. kids
Dogs
Boy, I'm glad that kid's finally gone so I have you all to myself again.
Kids
College tuition, apartment deposit, wedding costs
Photo credit: Flickr/Susieq3C -
Advantage
-
Dogs vs. kids
Dogs
Probably will kick off before you do.
Kids
Slight chance will take care of you in your old age.
Photo credit: Flickr/Michael Newton -
Advantage:
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And the winner?
Oh, please. As Satran says, "Every parent knows there's no real contest."
Photo credit: Flickr/Eirik Solheim
Photo credit: Flickr/crazyforheelers
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More to read from 1000 Perplexing Things About Parenthood:
• 16 Things I Forgive My Kids For
• Adults Who Bully Kids With Special Needs: How Low Can You Go?
• 9 Ways Kids Wreck Your House: Home Eeek Home
All dogs are not bought, the best ones are mutts, and they are free! It should have been said in the first picture, we need more people thinking they have as first option to adopt a dog not buy one.