Enough Food to Feed a Baby Hippo

See this?

This is how much food I want when I order a meal at a restaurant.

See this?


This is how much food I always seem to get when I order a meal at a restaurant.

Any restaurant. Or so it seems.

At what point did restaurants start serving enough food to feed a baby hippo any time one of their patrons ordered an entree?

When I go out to eat, I don’t go out looking for dinner, the next day’s lunch, and a midnight snack for later. I go out looking for one thing. Dinner.

I don’t go out hoping to be stuffed so full I can barely move. I go out looking to enjoy my evening and be satisfied.

When I order, oh, I don’t know… Fettuccini Alfredo, I don’t need to pull a styrofoam container out of the fridge the next day and watch some solidified glob of grease fall onto a microwaveable plate.

When I order a steak dinner, I don’t need four different sides with it, all big enough to feed me and a small clan of pigmies.

When I order a salad, I don’t it to be stacked so high that any attempt to stab it leaves tomatoes and crumbled cheese flying in all directions.

When I order dessert, I don’t need half of the entire cheesecake or my own gallon of ice cream.

I don’t need any of that, and as much as I hate it, I hate it even more that my only option is to pay for way too much food. If I wanna go out to eat anywhere decent, anyway.

Let’s all be honest here. Restaurant owners have found their cash cow and it’s bigger portion sizes. In the olden days, if they had a table that fit four people, they could sell four meals every x number of hours. Now, for a table that fits four, they can sell eight or even twelve meals in those same x number of hours. Believe me, it’s us that’s paying for the extra food. Not the restaurants.


I complain about this a lot. To my friends. My dates. Whoever. I’m sure everyone’s sick of hearing about it. But if I have to hear one more person say, “don’t complain, you’ll have lots of yummy leftovers!” I’m gonna go bat absofreakinlutely crazy and start doing naked backflips or something.

Trust me, that would be a serious punishment to anyone who was unfortunate enough to be watching.

Double Sigh.

I’ll stop being a ranty baby now. But you have to admit, I was overdo for a good whine about something.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS. Do you like the bigger portion sizes? Are you a leftovers person? Or would you rather pay less and have smaller portions come out?

Read my daily blog over at Single Dad Laughing!

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More of me on Danoah Unleashed:

My Kid’s Booger Problem Just Got Personal
When Mommy & Daddy Believe Very Different Things
I Bit My Kid’s Head Off For No Real Reason Today
For My Kid’s First Birthday, I Got Him a Facebook Account
Why the Heck Would it Be Where it Goes?

Article Posted 4 years Ago
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