Explaining What a Hillbilly Is to a Child

I have just experienced one of my toughest moments of parenting yet.

I tried to explain to Noah what a hillbilly is.

Now, this may seem like a simple thing to do, but actually run through the discussion in your mind. How would you explain a hillbilly to a child?

But before I get into that, I figure I better tell you why I had to explain the concept of hillbilly.

Noah was watching the screensaver on my computer, which cycles randomly through the pictures on my computer. I was in the other room working on something when I heard him squeal, “Dad, what’s this?!”

I came in and the image had already changed, but using my fancy arrow keys I found what had caused him excited alarm. It was this:

A picture of me, posing as a flamboyant hillbilly at my brother’s hillbilly bash last year.

“That’s a hillbillly!” I told him.

“What’s a hillbilly, Dad?”

Then the awkward explanation. “Well, it’s a person who is… it’s a person who… it’s someone from the… it’s someone who…”

I honestly couldn’t find any words to explain a hillbilly that would work for someone his age. So I simplified.

“It’s someone who thinks squirrels taste yummy and who poops outside.” I couldn’t think of a better explanation.

“YUCK! Why are you laying on those sticks. Is that what hillbillies do?”

“Ummmm….”

Yeah, it was an interesting conversation.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

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More of me on Danoah Unleashed:

My Kid’s Booger Problem Just Got Personal
When Mommy & Daddy Believe Very Different Things
I Bit My Kid’s Head Off For No Real Reason Today
For My Kid’s First Birthday, I Got Him a Facebook Account
Why the Heck Would it Be Where it Goes?

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