“Iris is at a party.”
That was a text from my husband, accompanied by a cute picture of my 2 year old daughter drinking illicit soda at a birthday party.
The colors popped and the clarity was a rare score… so obviously I had to steal it for Instagram.
“So cute but… can you take a picture of Quinn really quick? I want to Instagram that one of Iris but I need to do one of Quinn first.”
“Why?” he replied.
“So I don’t go to jail.” I no-brained. Duh.
“What is wrong with you?” said the ever-patient husband-of-a-blogger.
What was wrong with me? What was wrong with me was that a woman’s Facebook photo albums recently came into play as evidence in a murder investigation. More specifically, the fact that she had a predominance of photos of one of her children over her two others.
I wish I could remember the details of the case (if you do, please comment and I will update), but the impression that remained with me is that if you are ever accused of murdering one of your children, you had better have an equal amount of photos of that child in your photo stream as it compares to your other children. If not? Clearly you could be capable of murdering the less-featured child. I mean, clearly.
This currently does not bode well for my 7 and 5 year old boys:
Ever since my cursory exposure to that random news story, I’ve kept an eye on my Instagram photo grid. I really wish I was making this up.
Seriously, I’m not going to need it as evidence any time EVER, but how the outside world perceives your love for your children as possibly even remotely evidenced by how well balanced your photo ratios of one child to another are has been hard to shake.
It’s sort of similar to keeping an eye on how many times you tweet an original tweet vs how many times you retweet vs how many times you @ reply. What? You don’t keep an eye on how your first page of tweets balances? I, um, I don’t do that, either. That would be weird. (sigh)
So talk to me. Do you ever look at your Instagram grid or Facebook albums with an eye for fair representation of your children? Do you think it’s crazy that such balance or imbalance could be used as evidence of our love?
And have I now made you completely paranoid and you’ll start minding the balance because OMG Big Brother is watching?! Yeah, sorry about that. (wince)
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More of me on Threadbare Theory:
Building Forests of Thought
Bad Mothers. They’re Everywhere.
Scent Memory: Of Children, Of Their Parents