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By Any Means Necessary. Even Gummy Vitamins.

About a year ago on my personal blog, I posted a picture of my feet on a scale that read more than it did when I had a 40 week old human being swimming inside of my abdomen. I posted that picture in one of those “if I just put it out there” moments, like people do when they try to quit smoking again or decide to stop blogging, and we all know how well that works out.

I’m not willing to say how many more pounds that that I weigh now, and that’s minus one uterus.

So I’m not eating carbs, again, which is harder than it sounds because I make the best mashed potatoes on earth. (I have been proven guilty of this, beyond a shadow of a doubt, by a jury of my peers.) I made some tonight and managed to not eat even one bite of them, and it almost killed me, but I just ate more salad and cried a little bit to myself and the craving passed.

Seriously, quitting smoking wasn’t this hard.

To successfully quit smoking, you need to take something else up in its place. For some people, it’s hard candy. My mother hasn’t smoked a cigarette in 40 years but still goes through a pack of spearmint Breath Savers every single day. For other people, it’s chewing gum. For me, it was those petite baby carrots. Normally I wouldn’t eat a raw carrot if my life depended on it, but there is something in them does it for me like the cigarettes did, mentally or physically or orally, I’m not sure. All I know is they work.

And the way I see it, if I can replace a cigarette with a handful of baby carrots, there is *something* out there that will curb these unbelievable cravings for white sugars. Turns out, that something is fiber gummies.

When you have the kind of reconstructive girly surgery that I had two years ago, you get to spend the rest of your life on a high fiber diet. When you have to spend the rest of your life on a high-fiber diet, you find creative and pleasant ways of getting fiber into your system. When you are 24 hours into no candy, no chocolate, no bread, no pasta and none of the earth shattering Parmesan mashed potatoes those ingrates gobbled up while you sat there twitching over your green salad with extra mushrooms, because that’s how you reward yourself now, there is nothing in this whole, entire world more satisfying than your evening raspberry fiber gummy.

Now if they would just make them in parmesan mashed potato flavour.

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