Five Reasons My Kids Need To Go Back To School


I’m not sure how Phineas and Ferb’s mom deals with 104 days of summer vacation. We are about 57 days into summer vacation around here and I’m looking at the calendar trying to figure out how we’ll fill out the remaining few weeks before the kids head back to school. I’m fairly certain that I exhausted every creative idea that I have to keep my children entertained in the first week and we’ve been subsisting on a diet of skate park visits and bickering about bedtimes ever since. It’s time for them to get back to school and here are just a few reasons why.

  • Fruit Bars 1 of 5

    Or to be more exact, the fights over who gets to eat the red fruit bar this time. If you ever happen to run across a wild-haired woman in the grocery aisle ripping open boxes of fruit bars and stealing all of the red ones to make a box entirely comprised of one color, it's probably me, because I can't listen to another argument about who got to eat red last time and whose turn it is today. Really, I just can't.

  • Orange is the New Black 2 of 5

    These kids are totally cramping my desire to indulge in this new tv addiction. I want my kids to have educational experiences over their summer break. But I don't know that the goings on in the Litchfield Women's Correctional Facility are really offering the kind of education that I want my children to have. On the other hand, it's not like I can watch one episode of this show at a time and staying up all night ended a few years ago. Back to school for them means Orange binges for me.



  • Blurred Lines 3 of 5

    You may think that I'm tired of my kids listening to it, but honestly? I love that song. And I'm a little concerned about the mixed messages regarding feminism that I'm sending to my daughters when one minute I'm raising a fist to the patriarchy and the next I'm singing, "You the hottest chick in this place!" Talk about blurred lines.


  • The Fair 4 of 5

    We live right by the OC Fair and have to drive by it every singe day, which means constant begging about going. It is really difficult to convince children that the death trap masquerading as a ferris wheel isn't really worth the $27 it costs to ride it. Even if they did just hose out the car from the person who rode right after consuming all of the funnel cake and curly fries their body could contain. Or at least, could contain for a while.


  • The Mess 5 of 5

    GOOD GRIEF, the mess of having the kids home all day. I'm so ready for them to go back to the structure of school, where someone else has to cattle-prod them to pick up after themselves. 


What reasons do you have for wanting to send your kids back to school?