We knew they were fraternal at first sight. Covered with blood and guts, their faces masked with amniotic goo, Hal and I both exclaimed “Fraternal” in unison. And then “Jinks!” and then I puked all over myself because apparently C-sections make you puke. At least they do if you’re me. (I puked for 24 straight hours, actually. Very impressive, anesthesia!) But beyond the puking and the anxiety attack (more on that later) I was struck by how different the girls looked. So different that I haven’t been able to refer to them as “twins” aloud since their birth. It’s kind of like how it took me five years of marriage to use the word “husband” when referring to Hal. “Twins” is equally confusing to me. Because I don’t feel like they’re twins. I feel like they’re babies. Two completely different baby people with completely different personalities and ways of sleeping, eating, looking, blinking, sitting, sleeping, sucking, being.
Maybe it’s the word “twin” that throws me. “Twin” brings to mind “similarities” of which Bo and Rev have none. Even my dad who can barely tell me and my curly-haired much-taller-than-me seven-years-younger sister apart has never once confused his twin granddaughters.
In fact, the first thing people say when they see them is: “Are they… related?”
My response is always the same: “Yes. I was pregnant with them both at the same time.”
Kind of like how with identical twins it’s hard to “tell them apart” with Bo and Rev I have a hard time telling them alike. I look at them and see two different worlds and wonder if they feel the same way. When I was pregnant with them I felt like they were these partners … and that I was merely their shelter, the carrying case to their bonding experience. I assumed they’d be born and have these noticeable similarities. That they’d make the same sounds, sneeze at the same time, have similarly shaped fingertips…
The same way Fable is Fable and Archer is Archer, Boheme is Boheme and Reverie is Reverie. Duh, right? And yet, in a way, it’s still… somewhat of a surprise. How from the same uterus and under the same parental supervision, two and now four such different beings can be. Pretty remarkable stuff.