Getting Old Sucks

I turned 40 four years ago. Yes, I’m currently 44 years old. Yes I have pink hair. Yes, it’s probably pretty silly and I don’t give a crap.

I’ve been mostly in denial about getting older in a lot of ways, but this last six months? Yeah, I can’t deny it anymore. A small number of things have become obvious, telling me that I better face it: I’m heading into middle age.

First, it was the tired thing. Suddenly, I looked tired no matter how well rested I was (okay, the well rested thing doesn’t happen often, but it does happen). The bags under my eyes no longer go away with a good night’s sleep. Instead of having one line under my eyes when I smile, I now have two.

Shit.

Worse, though, is the vision thing. A couple years ago at my annual eye exam, my eyes got slightly more near-sighted for the first time in about twenty years. Well, guess what? That’s gone now. While I’m still okay when I wear my glasses, when I wear my contacts? Yeah. I’m now one of those people that has to hold shit at arm’s length to see it. If I’m in a dark restaurant, I have to turn the light on my cell phone on to read the menu. I’m scheduled to get another eye exam soon, and I’m hoping that we can just back down my contacts prescription enough that I can wait a bit before having to wear bifocals all the time. For now, I wear my glasses more often than not because they don’t correct my vision quite as well as my contacts do, and if I need to read something close up I can just take them off.

SO. ANNOYING.

Then, of course, is the random aches and pains. My husband and I compete to see who’s more achy in the mornings (although now that we have a really nice bed, it’s less of an issue).

There are good things, though. For instance, you no longer get so mad at everything. While righteous anger is still there, it’s easier to not get worked up about everything. You are more comfortable in your (saggy and blind) skin. You no longer feel such an overwhelming urge to compete with everyone.

That part is nice.

But it’s no fair that comes WITH the rest of it. And now you’ll have to excuse me–I’ve got to go put on my glasses because the computer screen is starting to swim at me.

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