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Gives Good Updates

I have something to say about all this social media stuff.

I like it! A lot. I always have (though I try not to brag about being an early adopter or anything because I am so completely not – it took my friends a long time to get me on Twitter.) It seems as if the pithy 140 character limit of Twitter was made just for me. The summarizing qualities of all the Facebook updates I tend to “like” all seem to paint a picture of completion that gives me comfort. The Instagram pictures that I double tap on my phone so that I may “heart” them give me great insight into the life of the person I’m following. Each, in their own way, a snippet of life in the making and a way that lets me know how much my fellow man is faring in this harsh world.

Sometimes, it’s bleaker than others, but the nay-sayers and the Negative Nancys in my feed get hidden with a quickness. I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings so I ignore the passive aggressive briefs and put them in a corner so I don’t have to be subjected to things like, “I’m so glad people just treat me like crap and then stop taking my phone calls.” or “Why don’t people just say what they mean?”

You know those updates, right? Everyone has that person that they think dear God, don’t let them be talking about me or, my usual Great. I wonder what she’s pissy about today.

Then there are the new moms with colicky babies who just seem to write about how their child won’t sleep. The person who writes that something amazing happened and they can’t share it yet. The blogger who finally got that book deal. And, of course, the vacation someone is going on and then the inevitable pictures, oh, the pictures.

Admittedly, there are times when I get a little too much how my fellow man is faring.

On the upside, there is the person who knows how to give the perfect synopsis of their day. For instance, “Pilates, wrote in my journal for an hour, kids off to school, and garden salad for lunch. Today is awesomesauce!” I can imagine that this person surely has a fabulous life, but man, sometimes I sincerely want to punch them in the throat when my mornings are going all wrong and the kids missed the first 7 alarms on their clocks to wake up and the dog refuses to step her precious princess feet in the snow for her morning pee and the shirt I want to wear has pit stains on them but I can’t find my favorite black blazer to throw over it and OH MY GOD, DO YOU SEE HOW LONG A STATUS UPDATE THIS WOULD BE?

I have a lot of different kinds of people I like to visit. There are the in-the-midst-of-a-breakup folks who let me know how they are, the serious-about-politics folks, the leaves-awesome-links-to-read people, and the straight-up-funny. But there they are, every morning on the phone I grab from my bedside table as I do my morning bed-stretches. I check Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and do some goddess poses under my sheets and maybe a little cat/cow while I catch up on the world and crack my creaky old bones. I love those friends who give good updates on those social media sites.

Maybe a little more Pilates and garden salads in my life would actually be a good thing, but I’m probably going to do bed-stretches as I wake up late and try to get my day started while yelling down the hallway at my sons to turn off their alarms already.

How about you? Do you have a favorite person’s updates? What do you look for? Do you hide the politics now that we’re in an election year? Do the fabulous lives of your friends drive you just a little nuts?

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