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Halloween Stripping

"I've gotta get me one of those!"

I took the kids trick-or-treating around my neighborhood yesterday. It was the first time since Savannah was a baby that the kids didn’t need winter coats. Seriously, the kids carried hand warmers in their coat pockets back home in Chicagoland the last two years.

I’ve always tried to come up with creative, original costume ideas for my kids. This year, however, I dropped the ball. I just didn’t have it in me. Brooklyn wore the Rapunzel dress she got for her birthday. After putting it on, she insisted she needed a frying pan to complete her ensemble (if you’ve seen the movie Tangled, you know what I’m talking about here).

Clay couldn’t decide what he wanted to be until the day before Halloween when he chose Jack Sparrow. In case anyone was wondering, you can’t go out and get the costume you want in the size you need the day before Halloween. You can find dinosaur costumes for your dog. You can find plastic vampire teeth. You can find orange and black spider rings. You can even find a size 3T Spiderman costume. And that’s about it. I did find a Jack Sparrow costume that I thought would be too big for Clay, but figured we could make it work. And by “make it work”, I mean, buy it, take it home, have Clay change his mind and insist he wants to be Darth Vader while Lexi says she doesn’t want to be a cheerleader after all because she absolutely must be Jack Sparrow this year. Thankfully, we had an old Darth Vader costume in our Halloween box so it all worked out.

Savannah and a couple friends came up with the idea to dress like the Power Puff Girls and they used items they had on hand to make their costumes. Jackson wore an old football uniform. Austin and I were party poopers and didn’t dress up at all.

After the first house, Clay whined that he didn’t want to wear his mask. I held it. He continued as a guy in a black cape. After the second house, Brooklyn told me she couldn’t hold the frying pan anymore. I held it. She want on as Rapunzel without a frying pan. After about the seventh house, Brooklyn had a blister on her foot and told me she couldn’t wear the dress-up shoes anymore. I informed her that she needed some kind of shoes to which she retorted, “But Mom, I really should be barefoot because Rapunzel is barefoot!” Sigh. I held her shoes. She continued on as barefoot Rapunzel. After about ten houses, Lexi whined that her hat was itchy. I held it. She continued on as a pirate with a headband. Then Brooklyn cried that her wig was too hot and itchy. I held it. She continued on as a little, barefoot girl in a dress. After another house, Lexi claimed she had a headache because the bandana was too tight. I held it. She went on as a cross-dressing girl with a mustache.

We went to a few more houses while I held a Darth Vader mask, a pair of shoes, a frying pan, a hat, a wig, and a bandana. I was tired of carrying everything so I donned the shoes, wig, mask, and hat, rang a doorbell, and held out the frying pan while saying, “Trick or treat!”

The little old couple who answered the door asked, “Oh and what are you supposed to be?”

“I’m a mom, of course!”

The couple smiled and gave me their entire stash of candy. (Okay, so maybe it didn’t happen exactly like that. Actually, I staggered home, laden with discarded costume pieces. Then I charged my kids for my services. “A Butterfinger, a Baby Ruth, a couple Almond Joys, and a peanut butter cup should cover it, kids.”

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  • Jack Sparrow 1 of 4
    Jack Sparrow
    Lexi before she discarded half her costume
  • The Power Puff Girls 2 of 4
    The Power Puff Girls
    Savannah and one of the other two friends who dressed up like the Power Puff Girls
  • Darth Vader 3 of 4
    Darth Vader
    Clay before ditching his mask (He didn't use the force to start any cars.)
  • Rapunzel 4 of 4
    Rapunzel
    Brooklyn before abandoning her wig, shoes, and frying pan

I’m crazy pickle-arm! I have a pickle for an arm! Give me candy! Buy my book!

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