As much as I want to come off as one of these kind, positive, well-wishing people who is desirous of the best for everyone I’m going to go ahead and admit to being one of those A-holes who secretly delights in the failures of others.
Okay, okay, that’s not entirely true and may have been exaggerated for effect, but I’m not going to lie, occasionally, when I hear of the marriage of a celebrity failing, especially when it’s a couple who goes out of their way to showcase (couch jumping) to the world-at-large (motorcycling into movie premieres) just how in looooove they are/were (public dipping and tonguing), it gives me a small boost of confidence within my own marriage.
Okay, yes. You’re thinking I’m a small-minded doucheburger, but this isn’t a new development so let’s just move on.
The recent divorce announcement of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise was slightly thrilling not only because the Katie Holmes hostage situation was peacefully resolved (I mean, were we not all wondering what the hell happened to cute little Katie from Dawson’s Creek because just who the hell is this super polished “Kate” person?) but, well, because they (mostly he) pretended to be so couch jumpingly happy all the damn time and I hate that celeb “we are over the moon” crap. Which, Will and Jada, I have my stink-eye on youse as well…
The cancellation of the TomKat reality show got me to thinking about the most infamous marriages in history, celeb or otherwise. Go ahead, check ‘em out so you can feel better about you’re own union. I don’t know about you but just knowing Elizabeth Taylor married the same dude twice or that Kim K’s much touted nuptials only lasted seventy-something days or that Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband’s penis makes me feel a whole helluva lot better about my own marital bullsh!t. I mean, I may have assaulted a car with a shovel but I very sanely draw the line at maiming vital organs of human beings.
And then there are the murders and suicides…
So, if you’re an A-hole like me, enjoy the ego boost as you take comfort in the marital shenanigans and failures of 24 other couples from history!
nggallery template=’carousel’ id=’10′