One year ago today Serge and I were dealing with the most difficult period of our marriage so far. In fact, it was so difficult I asked him to move to his mom’s house while we sorted out our feelings. Even when he came home after a couple weeks, nothing was set in stone.
But time passed and we stayed together and now here we are one year later and I can honestly say we are currently enjoying what we both consider the best time of our marriage. The arguments are few and far between and they are actually just disagreements, not the hissing, bitter, venom-filled fights of last year.
Our circumstances last year left a lot to be desired. We were dealing with a house fire, a subsequent move to a strange town and a terrible falling out with family members. But still. The bad marriage can only be blamed on the two of us.
So. We sat down and had an honest talk. It’s easy to be honest when you’re on the verge of divorce. What we decided was this:
We love each other.
We like each other.
We don’t know how to be married because we’ve never known or witnessed the behaviors of a successful, happy couple.
We don’t know how to argue productively.
We want to be together.
We desperately want our kids to have both parents in the same home.
We want to set a good relationship example for our kids.
We want to be happy. Or at least content.
The other option was divorce. Kids growing up in separate homes, shuttling back and forth between mom and dad. Step-parents. Finances. All the crap that comes with divorce. But we love each other! What was our problem? Basically that we knew no other way.
So. With a little help from therapy we stopped all the bullshit and got down to the business of making happiness happen. I can’t speak for Serge but the following 7 things are the improvements I focused on as a part of my effort to get our marriage back on track.
If you love your spouse but feel like you’re constantly bickering and feeling bitter, follow the advice below and I guarantee you will find a whole new peace within your relationship.
nggallery template=’carousel’ id=’39′
More on He Said/She Said