I’m a married guy, but you know.
I mean, I’ll be honest here and tell you straight up that my wife is still the coolest, sexiest woman I have ever known and if you don’t buy it, that’s your problem because I have know some seriously incredible women in my time and yet anyone who actually knows me will tell you that I am junkie for just one girl. Her name is Monica and she’s fiery and chiseled and hungry for knowledge and uber-fit and ultra-intelligent and a fabulous mother to our two (soon to be three) kids.
Plus, she’s a teeny tiny bit of a whack job, exactly like me.
Love isn’t even the right word, as far as my feelings go. But words are just words and they all leave you high and dry when you’re talking about love and the soul and the heart. She’d probably snarf at me if she heard me say any of this, but her beat-up Vans, and this one old white tank top she still has, and the way she smiles an exhausted smile at me when one of my kids says something brilliantly funny at the end of the day, and the way I sneak peeks at her face, so focused and far away, when she is watching TV right down the couch from me … it all adds up to me understanding that she possesses a very complex combination of just about everything that first kick-started my young heart many moons ago. Things that continue to make me feel like that husky high school kid secretly wishing I could coolly lean in and, just this once, kiss the pretty girl.
And ha! Sometimes I actually DO still try and do that! But usually it just makes her mad since I have very little game even all these years later.
Still, it’s worth noting that, despite all that I feel for Monica, the one and only person I’ve been battling and conquering life with all these years, I’m still only human.
And so is she.
We all are, for better or worse.
In my humble unscientific opinion, one of the things that keeps us alive and vital throughout the course of a lifetime is the simple fact that we all continue to be attracted to other people, in a million different ways, until the day we die. Be it purely physical or strictly cerebral or even some inexplicable collision of things, there isn’t a single person who has ever lived who can honestly say that, despite the relationship they are committed to (or not), they have never felt electric butterflies here and there when someone else unleashed a couple of wild butterflies down in the basement of their guts.
Look, as far as I’m concerned, if you have half a brain in your head and maybe just a sliver of brain in your jeans, living a life filled with little crushes can actually be a really good and healthy thing. Continuing to feel moved and made effervescent by the mere sight or sound, or even the whiff of other human beings, helps to fuel the kind of fires inside us that can illuminate a lot of our deepest thoughts and feelings, revealing much about our inner-workings in the process.
Simple everyday crushes can help us gain intense insight into the things we love about our serious relationship, and maybe some things we aren’t too happy about as well. It’s up to us, though. In the end, we need to understand that they are indeed fire. And that if you get a little crazy with fire, well, you will burn stuff down.
What I guess I am getting at here is that no one should ever feel too guilty about having fleeting, harmless crushes on the everyday people in our world. It happens, it’s normal. We just need to recognize that there is one hell of a line in the sand between the little things that make you quietly dig another person and the point of no return.
I like holding that balance in check. I like the feeling I get holding the reigns of power in my hands, and then dropping them down, day after day, just so I can return to that one person whose long line of allures I never could resist.
Here are 20 harmless things that make me crush hard.
You can also find Serge on his personal blog, Thunder Pie.
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