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Serge and Monica Bielanko

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Monica Bielanko was born and raised on the wild frontier of late 1970's Utah. She is a recovering Mormon who once went to see an unknown band from Philly and married the guitar player a few weeks later. She's been married to her Babble Voices writing partner, Serge Bielanko, for the past nine years. Along the way they have practiced and perfected the dark arts of couch dining, clandestine boozing, bambino wrangling, wide-open domestic warfare, and modern love. Her personal blog, The Girl Who was in the top ten of last year's Top 50 list. In addition to Babble Voices, Monica is featured on Strollerderby and Pregnancy.

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Love Means ALWAYS Having to Say You’re Sorry

By Monica Bielanko |

Who are these disgusting lovebirds? I don't recognize them at all.

Love means never having to say you’re sorry…

It’s a famous line from the movie Love Story deemed so significant it featured in the movie twice. The second time is actually the last line in the movie.

All I have to say about that is WHA?

Love means always having to say you’re sorry. Like, every ten minutes saying you’re sorry. In light of this situation it’s kind of what we’re busy working on chez Bielanko these days. Lots of saying you’re sorry and focusing on the positive. Accentuating the positive and eliminating the negative, to take a line from another famous creative contribution to the world.

Part of accentuating the positive, for me at least, has involved going over old photos of me and my fella. I got to looking at our bad selves on my Flickr page (which I’ve updated religiously since the year we married) and figured, what the hell, I’ll go ahead and share my favorite photos of myself and my betrothed with y’all here.

Check us out in all our first blush of love glory… and later, when 8 years and two kids done wore us the hell out:

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Moves Are Full of Nonsense: Love Means ALWAYS Having to Say You're Sorry

First Photo

This is the first photo of us ever taken. After meeting Serge when his band played in Salt Lake City, I drove more than 20 hours to meet up with them in Austin, Texas. Those are bats in the sky there above our heads. The Congress Street Bridge is home to North America's largest bat population and every evening at dusk they head out into the night sky to do whatever it is bats do.

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About Monica Bielanko


Monica Bielanko

Monica Bielanko was raised on the wild frontier of late 1970's Utah. She is a recovering Mormon who married the guitar player of an unknown band. She's been married to her Babble Voices writing partner, Serge Bielanko, for the past nine years. Her personal blog, The Girl Who was in the top ten of last year's Top 50 list. Read bio and latest posts → Read Monica's latest posts →

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11 thoughts on “Love Means ALWAYS Having to Say You’re Sorry

  1. Korinthia Klein says:

    I watched the movie Love Story for the first time about a year ago, and more than just that one quote bugged me about it. And I agree. None of us are perfect and a willingness to admit when we’re wrong is important, particularly in our most important relationships.

  2. Gina says:

    Yes…sorry seems to be the hardest word and yet Bubba and I are working on that….anyway, I remember going out to Austin one very hot September weekend…must have been 106 in the shade! Went looking for that very bridge and for some reason or other couldn’t find it. Rats….er…Bats!

  3. Gina says:

    i can’t believe you two were married that quickly and easily. Gosh… that is so romantic. No fancy schmanz or wasted time and money…good for you!

  4. Gina says:

    your hair looks great, Monica…in fact, I am going out right now to get my own cut off. Thanks for the inspiration!

  5. Lila says:

    For what it’s worth Ryan O’Neal & Ali McGraw were both on Oprah a few years ago and they all agreed that famous quote is ridiculous and in fact don’t even know what it really means.

  6. Lila says:

    For WHAT IT’S WORTH both Ryan O’neal & Ali McGraw have said recently they have no idea what that famous quote even really means.

  7. charity says:

    stupid quote. Love the pictures. :) I agree with Gina. Daaaaamn Gina. Sorry. i love your hair now anyway.

  8. Belinda says:

    LOVE the photos, thanks so much for sharing!

  9. fahrenheit says:

    be careful… somewhere along the road, in between two of those pictures (you tell me which ones exactly!), you may have lost the concept of true love… compromise is simply compromise – not true love… regardless of how psychologists may try to sell it…

  10. Melissa says:

    I love the photos too!

    This is one of my favorite quotes about love and to me, it describes long term love so well.

    “Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.”

    -St. Augustine

  11. EmmaJ says:

    Stop talking about how you used to look (three mentions about your breasts, hair and thinner face are too many.) You are beautiful and you need to live in the present. Stop living in the past (yes, yes he was in a band…we get it.) You are beautiful, talented and have a rich life ahead of you. Live life in the now. The Mormon upbringing causes this obsessive chronically of the past. You will never grow without freeing yourself from the nostalgia of what was. The person you are now is much more interesting and pretty.

    There is no She Said in this piece. It is more What I Was. I am more interested in your journey than a picture book. You are a good writer. Please don’t forget to share that with us.

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