Hey Stupid Jerkface, I Have Feelings You Know.

“I feel sorry for this woman and her husband.”
“Way too high strung”
“Dumb! [She] Seems so superficial!”
“This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever read.”
“I can’t believe there was an article written about this. I can’t believe I read it.”
“This is one of the dumbest things I have ever read.”
“So thankful my husband loves me no matter what.”
“Ridiculous.”
“Issues much?”
“That was one of the dumbest articles I’ve ever seen.”
“Are you serious right now lady?”
“If you are this desperate for blogging material, I say babble should just go ahead and find a new blogger!”
“You seem uptight…your poor husband!”
“thiis (sp) is so stupid..”
“Woman, you’ve got serious issues. Have you considered professional help?”
“You are strange.”
“Pathetic, sad…”

All because I said I don’t/wouldn’t use the toilet in front of Cody.

We may not share similar ideas when it comes to marital bathroom habits, but you guys? I still have feelings.

This isn’t the first time someone has suggested that Babble fire me. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s been suggested that every writer on Babble be fired for one reason or another.

Spoiler alert: You’re not going to like everything and everyone, but you can at least be nice about it.

I’ve written before that feeling offended is involuntary, being offended is a choice. It’s what you choose to do when someone says something that you don’t agree with that says more about you than it does about the person who intentionally or unintentionally said whatever it was in the first place. I don’t talk politics online because nothing good comes from it. I have never seen an inflammatory rant or sarcastic meme and thought “BY JOVE! THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!

So perhaps you’re one of the ones who thought my humor post about something as silly as poop was one the stupidest things you’ve ever read. You must not get around the Internet much because I can promise you there is a scary amount of superbly stupid out there. But who cares? There’s something for everyone. If you don’t like something click out of it, close it down, turn it off or change the channel. Do people really feel that much more important or justified by calling strangers names or attacking the opinion and experience of someone else?

How boring would it be if we all thought the same, believed the same, felt the same, liked the same things and hated the same things? Did you know that women put their bras on in two different ways? One of the ways is SO CONFUSING TO ME, why anyone would want to make putting on a bra so confusing to me is beyond me…but I would never call them names or think of them as less of a person for doing something different than me.

I’ve been around the Internet long enough to know that those of you who are already feeling prickly towards my existence will refuse to accept any sort of apology I try to give. You will cry foul that I offended an entire country, that I called you a heathen and uncivilized. HOW DARE I! You’ll overlook the fact that we have so much in common and commit to thinking of me as an uptight, superficial and sad person who needs professional help for her “serious” pooping in public issues. I am truly sorry if you felt offended, it was certainly not my intention. I both love and hate sarcasm, I’m seriously reconsidering ever using it…I always seem to hurt someone when I do and I hate that.

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I like cake. I love my kids, good photography makes me feel things, I think being married is awesome and I hate stepping in water in clean dry socks. I love cats, I like dogs and I wish everyone would be nicer to each other. I believe in equal rights for all families, and I still love horses as much as I did when I was a little girl. My favorite movies are Mary Poppins and Snatch and I cry during the first 17 minutes of UP every time. Disneyland is truly the happiest place on Earth, I donate money whenever my friends do a charity walk, and newborn babies are perfect in every way. I like braiding hair, naps are the answer to most any problem and I like listening to movie soundtracks when I write. I just found out my grandma has cancer, my parents divorced when I was 5, my girls are named after amazing women and I’ve dealt with serious and debilitating depression since I was a teenager. I am a Mormon, I have four tattoos and a fondness for Red Bull.

 

When you read something online or meet someone new, remember that there is a lot more to a person than what you’re reading or seeing. Everyone has a story, and believe it or not you have something in common with every. single. person. alive. It’s when we get caught up on differences that things get ugly.

Different scares people, different makes people uncomfortable but different is what lets us learn from one another. Never feel sorry for me, I am fantastically different and THAT’S OKAY.

Seeing those few (of many, many) insults stacked on top of each other up there is…well…it does hurt that people who don’t even know me can throw around accusations from the safety of their computer screen. Would the same people say the same thing to my face if we were in the same room? We try so hard as parents to teach our children not to bully, to tell the youth in our society that things will get better…but what are we doing to make sure things do get better?

Are we holding our tongues when we want to bite back?

Do make make sincere apologies when we make mistakes?

Are we learning from differences or fighting them?

“You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.”—Malcolm S. Forbes

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Find more of Casey’s writing on her blog moosh in indy. She’s also available on twitter, facebook, flickr and Instagram. If you can’t find her any of those places? Check the couch, she’s probably taking a nap.

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