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Katie Allison Granju is the married mother of five children, ranging in age from toddler to teenager. In addition to blogging for Babble Voices, she also publishes her own blog, Big Good Thing, and she works full time in digital media with a large cable network. When she isn't at work, blogging, or washing someone's socks, Katie enjoys working in her flower garden, riding her bike, and feeding the chickens she keeps in the backyard of her family's large and totally impractical, 113-year-old Victorian house.

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Do Most Men Prefer Long Hair on Women?

By Katie Allison Granju |

A week or two ago I was reading an interview with adorable and smart actress Michelle Williams, whose perfect pixie haircut I have long coveted with the fiery heat of a thousand hot suns, and in the interview, she explained that she keeps her hair short to remember the late Heath Ledger, whom she says was, “…the one straight man who has ever liked short hair.”

Williams elaborated on her signature short haircut, noting that her 5 year old daghter Matilda Ledger wants her mama to grow it out, but that Williams says that in addition to remembering Matilda’s father by keeping it short, she also feels more herself with the close crop. However, she says she’s aware that the haircut isn’t something that potential male romantic partners are likely to go for, saying, “Of course, the only people who like it are gay men and my girlfriends. Straight men across the board are not into this hair!’

I was thinking about that comment from Williams last week as I realized that after having grown my hair out to shoulder length at my husband Jon’s specific request, I am now getting kind of bored with it, and have been thinking of cutting and coloring it in some sort of way that’s more interesting than the dark auburn, shoulder-length layers I am currently sporting.

So on Friday night, while we were sitting together on the couch watching a movie after the kids were in bed, I asked Jon what he would think if I cut my hair shorter again – not really short, necessarily – but shorter than the way it is now. I didn’t know what I was expecting as a response, but I wasn’t expecting what I got, which was for him to sort of stop in his tracks, and give me his full attention as he essentially pleaded with me not to cut my hair any shorter. He went on and on about how much he loves it longer, and how much it means to him that I’ve grown it out, and how beautiful I look with longer hair, etc, etc, etc…

Given the obviously strong feelings he has on the matter, I quickly assured him that for now, I have no intention of going shorter, but his response did prompt me to begin peppering him with follow up questions – annoying queries like these:

“So if you like it so much long now, does that mean you did NOT like it when it was really short?”

“Wait, you always told me that you liked it when I had my hair in a supershort pixie cut, like when we got married. Were you lying just to make me feel better?”

“Are there ANY women with short hair whom you think are pretty? Or do you ONLY find women with longer hair attractive?”

And so on, and so on…

Jon is a smart guy. He always clams up completely when faced with any sort of question falling within the infamous, “Honey, does this make me look fat?” genre, and this was no different. I got absolutely nothing out of him as I tried to get him to spill on the specifics of his feelings about my hair, short hair, long hair, hair-at-wedding, which other women in the world he finds attractive, and so on. However, as I bombarded him with hair questions, I did tell him about the Michelle Williams quote I’d read – the one where she said that only her gay male friends and girlfriends actually like her short haircut. And while Jon wouldn’t answer any of my specific and probing hair questions, he did say that he thinks that Michelle Williams is correct. He told me that while it may not be something that men like to say out loud (particularly directly to their own girlfriends and wives), that in Jon’s opinion, most guys seem to prefer the look of long hair on women.

After this conversation, I did a little Googling about this whole “men prefer long hair” thing to see whether there’s ever been any research to back up this anecdotal observation. First, I ran across this quote from the book, “Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters, by Alan S. Miller and Satoshi Kanazawa,”

Men prefer young women in part because they tend to be healthier than older women. One accurate indicator of health is physical attractiveness; another is hair. Healthy women have lustrous, shiny hair, whereas the hair of sickly people loses its luster. Because hair grows slowly, shoulder-length hair reveals several years of a woman’s health status.

Ummm…okay. I’m skeptical of that one.

But anyway, I poked around online some more, and I couldn’t find any actual scientific data proving that men prefer longer hair on potential female partners, although I did run across this unscientific British newspaper poll indicating male preference for long, sexily tousled hair such as one would likely see in the latest Victoria’s Secret catalog. Despite the dearth of available hard data on this topic, I did find a great deal of anecdotal conversation around it, some of which was pretty astonishing. Check out this essay at the site Beyond Jane in which the female writer lamented the one time she cut her hair short, and explained why she prefers it to be long, writing that, “…in today’s society, long hair seems to be a “must”, especially in America.  I have never seen a Victoria’s Secret model with short hair.  Getting such a drastic haircut, to me, felt like wearing a “breast minimizing” bra without having huge knockers in the first place. “

Yowza.

Obviously, there are exceptions to every rule, and I know that there are plenty of men out there who find Mia Farrow circa Rosemary’s Baby or Natalie Portman way more sexually appealing than Scarlett Johansen or Christina Hendricks, and there are certainly guys who prefer  the supershort, punky cut that the now long-tressed Angelie Jolie sported before she became internationally famous. But I guess it’s likely true that all things being equal – and even if many of them are loathe to admit it for fear of sounding sexist or shallow- many, if not most straight American men prefer long hair to short on women.

Do you think this is the case? Or are Michelle Williams and I radically oversimplifying? And if you DO believe that most men go for long over short, why do you think this is the case? Is it simple cultural conditioning for American boys? Or does it run deeper, and trace back to some sort of issue of natural selection in which long hair on a woman signified health status, thus making her a more appealing mate? Of course, if that’s the case, then wouldn’t it make sense for most American women to ALSO prefer men with long hair? That’s definitely not the case, so the natural selection theory seems pretty sketchy to me.

What’s the deal with men and long hair? Let’s discuss. (And I’d love it if some of the guys who read my blogging would weigh in on this one.)

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About Katie Allison Granju

katie-allison-granju

Katie Allison Granju

Katie Allison Granju is the married mother of five children, ranging in age from toddler to teenager. In addition to blogging for Babble Voices, she also publishes her own blog, Big Good Thing. Katie also enjoys working in her flower garden, riding her bike, and feeding the chickens she keeps in the backyard of her family's large Victorian house. Read bio and latest posts → Read Katie Allison's latest posts →

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77 thoughts on “Do Most Men Prefer Long Hair on Women?

  1. [...] Do most men prefer long hair on their girlfriends and wives, and if so, why? That’s what I’m writing about over in my latest Home/Work blog post at Babble Voices. [...]

  2. rachathi says:

    From the time I met my husband four years ago till about a year or so ago, I had hair that varied from chin-length to barely hitting the top of my shoulders. He always claimed to like it, but I am currently trying to grow it out for the second time (got too annoyed with it the first time I tried) and it’s about 3-4 inches below my shoulders now. He has admitted a preference for longer hair when I push him for an answer, but also claims to like my shorter hair. I always figure that I’ll do whatever the heck I want with mine as long as I’m the one blow drying and straightening it on a daily basis (I have very thick coarse hair). :)

  3. Debbie in Memphis says:

    My husband and I have been together 16 years. I’ve had my hair mid-back length, or ,at least, below my shoulders almost this entire time. I’ve only cut it super, pixie-cut short once, for about 6 months after our youngest was born. Any time I want to tease my husband all I have to do is mention cutting it short again. He definitely prefers longer hair on me. BUT, he’s a huge fan of short hair on some women…I think for him it just depends on whether that hairstyle fits the woman.

  4. Susan says:

    Every now and again I get my hair in a pixie cut and it looks great. And then I feel like I look like someone’s dowdy bowling ball head of a mother.

    I grew it out one last time before I was 30, to nearly my waist, and I was like a Laura Ashley rockstar. I had a really bad week that culminated with getting soaking wet on the way home from work, and I stopped at a Great Clips and had enough cut off to make two wigs. To say that the people who were waiting for me at my house were shocked would have been the understatement of the 90s.

    I thought that would be the last time I had long hair, but now I’m in my mid-forties and I’m growing it out again, just because I can. I like to wear it twisted up in a messy knot with my reading glasses perched on the end of my nose, like some naughty editor, and then at the end of the day, it’s curled and bouncy.

    I didn’t set out to get attention from men with this hair, but I do – a lot. I never got that sort of attention when it was shorter, even though it was long enough to swing.

    What is it about your hair that makes you want to cut it? Too much trouble? Doesn’t look good to you? Can’t get used to it? It is a pain in the tuchus – it’s like having a pet.

  5. Kristin says:

    I had a curly bob when I met my husband 16 years ago. And the only reason my hair was “long” then was because when I was a senior in college, a freshman had mistaken me for a friend’s (a fellow senior’s) MOTHER. The guy who was sitting on the other side of him was also a senior, who was overweight and bald and actually did look a lot older than we were. For 3 1/2 years of college, people had been telling me to grow my hair because my short hair made me look older. But over 40 when I was 22? Ouch. So I grew it really long — more than halfway down my back. It looked pretty terrible — wildly curly, almost 80s hair band bad (but no teasing). By the time I met my husband, I’d cut it into the somewhat more tame, but still pretty messy, bob.

    Right before we got married, though, I cut my hair short again because I just don’t look good with long hair. Short hair really suits my face, my frame, etc. My husband hadn’t wanted me to cut my hair, but once he saw me with short hair, he preferred it. My dear friend who cuts my hair, and whom I trust completely, turned me away from the mirror one time and cut it really short. It WAS Mia Farrow circa Rosemary’s Baby. After I got over the initial shock, I LOVED it. My husband…less so. He was totally shocked and asked me not to go that short again. But he came around after a few days and liked it fine. I’ve never cut it that short again, but he loves my short — but not pixie — haircut.

    The key is having a man recognize what suits you best, I think. If a woman looks best with short hair and feels confident and attractive with a short haircut and is acting naturally and being herself (and feels sexy), then I think the rest takes care of itself.

    But I do think in general, men like longer hair better. It was good that I had longer hair when my husband and I met, because I think he would have wanted me to grow my hair long if he hadn’t already seen me with longer hair first. Now he knows that — without a doubt — short hair is better for me!

  6. Tané Tachyon says:

    The ‘trying to control someone else’s body” aspects of this really squick me out. Obviously some others’ opinions differ.

  7. Jo Sassmouth says:

    Oh, I think it’s the dumbest goddamned thing I’ve ever heard.

    Some men like longer hair better. Some think they do but then love the short hair when they see it. And some actively profess a love for the chin-length bob or the pixie. Of the cohort of straight men I know, the majority have paid me the most compliments on my appearance when my hair is chin-length or shorter.

    Even apart from the controlly aspects and pseudoscientific justifications I hate the way this argument gives men who prefer long hair a *cover* — like, this is just the way all men are! It’s ’cause we’re MEN! We’re not responsible for examining our motivations beyond coming up with some faux evo psych reason — god forbid we should have to consider that we might be responding to social conditioning!

    I will say that having a pixie cut does weed out a lot of attention from douchebags. So there’s that.

    I just really hate the whole “Men are like THIS!” line of thinking. It’s almost never true across the board and all it does is firm up social support for dudebro thinking. It’s okay to have a preference, and it’s okay to like how someone looks one way vs. another — but to justify it beyond “…and that’s what I personally like” is counterproductive.

  8. Sara says:

    For some reason, I remember a survey that Sassy magazine ran many many years ago (and yes, I am dating myself here) in which they asked some pool of guys what hair length they preferred. The majority liked hair that was below shoulder length but not super long, which I found interesting.
    I’ve always kept my hair quite long. I cut it short once in junior high and was mistaken for a boy (horrors) and then had it chin length for a brief time in college, but both times I just couldn’t make it stick– I miss having my hair to play with!
    The funny thing is, a lot of magazines will advise you that long hair dates you and makes you look older past a certain age. And yet if you get a short haircut, it’s called “mom hair.” Darned if you do, darned if you don’t, in other words.

  9. Stephanie says:

    I have a pixie style haircut that I love!!! I went from butt grazing length to pixie in one fell swoop 20 years ago and have not looked back. There have been a few times I thought I’d grow it out but within a few months of the experiment id go get it chopped off. I am not the type to tolerate daily upkeep beyond a hair washing now and then and super short fits me fine. What I have noticed over the years is I get a lot of compliments about the cut but all from women–never men. What’s fun to see is someone (remember always a female) compliment my hair and watch the expression of their male partner role their eyes/drop their jaw/gasp/see the life fall from their face. This saying, I am very fortuneate to have a hubby who likes my hair whatever length it is (we’ve dated since high school).

  10. Jo Sassmouth says:

    Also, you know what, even if most of them DO prefer it, who CARES? Maybe they also would prefer me to look like the models in Victoria’s Secret? SO WHAT. Honestly, why should I care what anyone else wants me to look like?

    And hey, I have never seen a Victoria’s Secret model with a graduate degree in neuroscience, either! Women, you know what you have to do. Or not do, as it were.

  11. Becky mom of Willie says:

    Heath Ledger and my husband: the 2 straight men in American that prefer short hair, specifically the pixie cut.

  12. Annika says:

    My husband’s take on my hair: “You just look better with long hair. Some people look better with it short, but not you.” FWIW, I agree with him–the last time I had hair above jaw level, people mistook me for a dude on a regular basis. Of course, I was going through my 14-year-old baggy flannel and cords phase,so that may have had something to do with it. But I do feel more feminine with longer hair, and it is my only real vanity. I don’t spend time on my appearance otherwise.

  13. Dayna says:

    My husband says that he doesn’t care but doesn’t like mine super short. I used to like to cut it pretty short but when I look at pictures, I realize he’s right. As long as I get frequent shape-ups, I don’t mind mine being about shoulder length. I feel a little like an Elvis impersonator though because my go-to haircut is the Rachel. One day I’m sure one of my daughters will catch on to that particular shame.

  14. Katie Allison Granju says:

    And Becky Mom of Willie. I cannot imagine you with long hair. You rock the pixie, and are among my style inspirations every time I’ve gone to a salon in the past however many years asking for this certain short cut…

  15. Samantha says:

    When I was 16 I got a bad bleach job and was forced to cut my hair into a pixie style. The next week, my crappy high school boyfriend called me a lesbian and dumped me. The whole experience was liberating! My head was light, my jerk-boyfriend was gone and my hair stopped looking greasy only hours after washing it. I realized what a burden it was and that I almost always wore it tied up. Within a year I met my (now) husband (married over 10 years) who told me that if a woman can pull off short hair, then it means she has a beautiful face and that she should never hide it behind a mop of hair. So, for me it’s been is various styles and colors, but ultra short for most of my life. I don’t know that I could ever withstand long hair again, for anyone.

  16. Danielle says:

    I think your hair looks lovely…the length and the color. Nothing boring about it. I am not a man, but my sisters and I all have long(ish) hair, and I can say that there is definitely something more feminine and sexy about long hair, at least to me.

  17. M. says:

    Male preference is largely cultural and, frankly, in America, has next to nothing to do with fertility indicators; if you’ll note the cultural preference for thin women, you’ll come to realize pretty fast that men no longer prefer things that indicate high fertility. I suspect it’s American beauty standards (which associate long hair with femininity) that are telling men what they think they should want, not some hidden biological urge.

  18. Christina says:

    I’m 43 (in a week) and I’ve been married twice – and I’ve been with my amazing Husband 2.0 (loving the upgrade!) since we met in a bar in 1997.

    I hair to my waist until I was 20 – then Ghost came out and I’ve had short hair on and off ever since. I’ll tell you what my husband says, because I agree: it doesn’t matter whether my hair is short or long, it’s about HOW I FEEL ABOUT HOW I LOOK in whatever hair that is. I’ve been hotter than hot with the Brook Sheilds eyebrows and unruly dark locks, and also rocked the Ginnifer Goodwin pixie. From size 14 to size 6, not pregnant or pregnant and miserable (baby 1) or radiantly pregnant (baby 2). And whether my partner has found me attractive has all been about whether or not I FELT attractive, unrelated to any of those other factors like weight and hair length. He loves me, we have a wonderful partnership, but when I *feel* sexy and beautiful, he can’t keep his hands off. When I feel like a barge, he’s still interested, but not falling over furniture to get my clothes off…

    How do YOU feel, Katie? What will make YOU feel attractive? Maybe it’s pleasing your partner with long hair, maybe it’s that pixie cut, but ultimately, it’s about the way you feel about you. XOXO

  19. Brad says:

    I wondering if I’m the only guy that has chimed in/will chime in. I absolutely adore long hair on women. Please, let me be your husband’s back up on this one. Remember that song in the 90′s, “Girl, why’d you have to go cut your hair?” (It was probably called something else, Google’s letting me down right now.)
    Anyway, the thing that popped into my mind when I read the quote about longer hair being tied with healthiness was Gabby Giffords. Obviously she’s gone through a severe head trauma, with brain surgeries, etc. But if she grew her hair out, it would send a message that she’s getting better, and moving on.
    Another point: A few years ago, a friend came in to work lamenting that his sister, expecting a child, had lopped off her hair and gotten a “Mommy Cut.” And this Mommy Cut, to our pre-parental selves, meant that she had given up on–or had at least put on hiatus–any kind of caring about her personal appearance. Having long hair is hard work. MEN KNOW THIS. And we appreciate it.

  20. Georgia says:

    After twenty years of marriage (well, it will be this June), the shortest my hair has been is shoulder length and the longest is waist length. I think my husband would prefer it to be shorter but I just don’t think I’d feel like me if I went short. There’s a security blanket of sorts on top of my head- or wrapped into a coil or braid.

  21. Monika says:

    Every gay friend I had advised me never to cut my hair when it was almost waist length at the age of 23. I got the most compliments on my hair ever when it was that length. And, I have to admit, I felt the sexiest in my life at that point — not sure if it was the hair, but it didn’t hurt. That’s also when I met my husband so it must have worked… however, not too long after we moved in together, I had to cut it. During the night, he would roll over my hair, and make me scream.

    Every since then, I’ve had mostly dull mid-length cuts… some better, some worse, but that hair felt most “me”. When I was young, my mother cut my hair as short as a boy’s; I hated it. Her own hair was short, but never that short. We came from a communist country where all the women worked outside the home, and what with all their homekeeping duties, there was never the time or the money to spend on having long hair. It was a cultural phenomenon of sorts; I didn’t know even one woman from our country, either there or an immigrant, who had long hair. So growing out my hair was liberating on many different levels.

    My 8 year old daughter has a hair thing. She had amazing curls as a baby and until the age of 5 or so, at which point it became more wavy than curly. Every time we ventured out of the house, we were stopped by a minimum of 2 strangers who admired her and her hair. You can guess where I am going with this… she has steadfastly refused to get her hair cut. We have not been able to do more than a few trims in the bathtub in all her 8 years. It is now wavy and down to her bum. But… she gets tons of compliments. When she runs, it flows behind her like a glorious mane; it is quite a site to behold (and yes, she rides). It takes a lot of conditioner to keep it nice, and we are going to have to do something about the split ends, but it really suits her. She says she likes having her hair wild.

    My husband? He says that he likes women with many different hair lengths. For example, he preferred Janine Turner with short hair, and loves Juliette Binoche with her shorter hair (as well as Audrey Tatou). As for long, he thinks our daughter is stunning with her long hair. As for me, he thinks that I looked best when my hair was just above my shoulders (I tend to wear it below).

  22. Lia says:

    My hair has been anywhere from mid-back to jaw length and brown, blonde, and red during my marriage to my own husband 2.0 and he doesn’t care at all what I do with it, as long as *I* am happy. I do lust after the Mia Farrow ultra short ‘do and am working up the courage for that one day. He says “go for it, I love you for who you are”. It’s me holding it up there as I lack the courage to lop it all off just yet.

    Katie, I must admit, it saddens me a bit to read about you changing your appearance so much, and in a way you don’t much seem to like, for your partner. You wear your hair 24/7 and as such, should style it in a way YOU prefer. Let Jon grow his out if he likes long hair so much. Or get a wig to wear in the bedroom, lol.

    I feel the same way for the old friend who got implants to please her husband and went from a 34A to DD, which didn’t work with her frame, hurt her back, and ultimately, he found some other aspect of her appearance to criticize.

  23. michelle says:

    Well, I’d prefer my husband with six-pack abs and he doesn’t spend the time at the gym to make that happen. Doing long hair daily is about the same amount of a time commitment as four times a week at the gym. Me, I have a lot of other things I’d rather spend my time doing than my hair.

  24. A.K. says:

    My hubby likes it longer. . . . I’m the one who gets tired of it. :) And I have so much gray that it costs more to keep it looking like my red hair used to look naturally. However, as long as he doesn’t complain about the costs of coloring it, then I’ll keep it to the longer side for him.

  25. Melissa says:

    You know, I’ve had long hair my entire life, and for the most part I loved it. Always received a ton of compliments on it. My hubby does too. TMI, but he loves the way it falls over my shoulders and into my cleavage. However, a few weeks back, I decided to go get it cut by a fancy stylist friend of mine. I wanted a change, and the hubby thought it would be hot for me to have a new ‘do. He, personally, was indifferent. It’s now slightly above my shoulders and while he digs it, and I dig how easy it is to manage, I miss my long hair so much. I feel like I look like everyone else now and long hair set me a part in ways.

  26. Zoe says:

    My pixie cut was the first thing my husband noticed about me. He would gaze at the back of my neck in class and decided he wanted to get to know me. I haven’t had it that short in years, mainly because I don’t want to freak out my three young children, but my husband wouldn’t say a word about it if I did – it’s not his hair. I did just ask if he had a preference, but for him it’s not that straightforward. There’s a lot more that goes into being attracted to someone than their hairstyle. Well that’s his story and he’s sticking with it.

  27. Joy says:

    Well, I now sport a slightly longer version of the pixie cut. I had long (mid-back or longer, & bangless) as a child, and only slightly shorter than that entering adulthood. When I met my husband, I had long wavy hair, that he adored. It was just past shoulder length for our wedding, and it’s been varying lengths ever since. Until, two years ago at 35, when I chopped it all off into a pixie cut. You see, *I* had never loved my hair. My mother did, my husband certainly did, but not I. I adore my short cut, and plan to not look back for quite some time. After he got over the shock, my husband doesn’t mind my short hair, but *loves* that I am happy and feel sexy. Would he prefer me to have long hair? Probably, but he’s not the one washing & styling it daily, nor trying to keep it out of his face as the wind blows, or as he cooks, or… You get the idea, I’m sure. I tried to grow it again recently, thinking that I *should*, but I cut it short again within three or four months.

    Do what *you* want. Wear the hairstyle that makes you feel the sexiest that you can possibly be. It’s not worth it, otherwise. Be *you*.

  28. Mandy says:

    My father in law loves short hair. My mother in law keeps her hair short, and my sister in law does as well. He’s the first guy I’ve heard specify that he prefers it though.

  29. Kate says:

    Short-haired gal here. My hair is a wee bit fuller than a pixie but close enough. I met my husband when I had long hair and he never liked it, especially when I pulled it back. I know he does have a thing for short hair in general but he’s always claimed that I, specifically, seemed like a short-haired girl to him. Long hair just doesn’t suit me as well. Actually, come to think of it, we started dating after I cut it!

    Just asked my husband and he doesn’t think the long-hair love is universal or biological. He does think more men may prefer it as a “traditional” sign of femininity but it’s largely social. I asked him about growing my hair out and he made a no-go face and shook his head. He also agreed that if you have bold and beautiful facial features, short hair shows it off more!

    Mostly, I think it’s about what you feel good with. If you love short hair and feel confident with it, go for it. After all, Jon did fall for you with the shorter ‘do! Men love confident, sexy ladies, regardless of hair length.

  30. Gussie Ownby says:

    My husband of 20+ years has never voiced an opinion, and I don’t know if I have ever asked (though now I will). He hates cosmetics and perfumes, so I am lucky there. I cycle through short and long hair because I donate my hair on a regular basis, so it goes from very short and breezy (which I love) through at least a year or two of awkward stage (which is less enjoyable), to long and wavy (which then stays braided much of the time.) I, personally, feel my hair is one of my few attractive features, so I enjoy it long. Since, I never artificially dry, curl, or color it, it is not a lot of extra work.

    My husband just actually answered the question (after I assured him it would never influence my choices). He thought about it and said that he prefers long hair. When I asked why, he pondered longer and decided that he thinks it looks more feminine and admitted that he is still influenced by culture. (He is one of the least sexist people I know.) My 19-yr-old son is going with mid-length but doesn’t know why.

  31. Stephanie says:

    Well, I’ve had it short (pixie short) a few times and loved it, but am grow ing it out now. My husband prefers long hair in general- but tells me to do what I want :-) . I grew it out from the pixie I had (and loved) when I met him and I complained so much I think he just decided expressing an interest just wasn’t worth it ;-) . Since then it’s never been longer than shoulder length before I cut it shorter. Now mine is almost shoulder length. What I did do recently is go in and get it shaped. I looked for styles that are around my current length that I like, and have a stylist cut it like that. That way I can keep growing it out, but still feel styled. Really like the shag I have now!
    As part of that, you could cut bangs… In your pictures, it looks like you’ve Bern growing those out too. Does it drive you crazy to have it in your face like that? It would me! That might be a good place to start, s a compromise….

  32. El says:

    I always ask my hubby what he would like before I go in…he makes preferences on color, cut, and style. I really have zero opinion on my hair, and if he does I will try it in some new fashion. After all, it is only hair and it will grow back. So, for now, I have changed up my color and am growing it out at his request.

  33. Amelia says:

    My husband VERY much prefers longer hair. He thinks it’s more feminine.

  34. Beth says:

    My husband always tells me he likes my hair long. I had it that way for years and when I got it cut he was whining about it being short. I asked why he liked it long and he said in his best caveman voice “it’s easier to drag my woman around with long hair”! Ummmmm, I’m working on growing it out again……

  35. PinJaz says:

    In our culture long hair is a status symbol that shows a woman has the luxury of time (frequent root touch ups, trips to stylist, daily maintenance) and money (cuts, colours, styles don’t come cheap). Celebrities — ie Scarlett Johansen & Christina Hendricks — are not realistic fashion inspirations for working mothers. Hell, neither of those women have children and I’ve seen lots of paparazzi photos where they both look like death warmed over. I know so many women with long hair who look awful, but they won’t cut it even if it’s in a ponytail 98% of the time, because they’re afraid of the alternative.

    I agree with earlier suggestions that Jon grow out his hair if he loves long hair so much. Katie, maybe you should read this post back and instead of “Katie,” “Jon,” and “long hair,” substitute “my teenage daughter,” “her steady boyfriend” and breast size or virginity or sobriety or what have you. Would you expect your daughter to sublimate her own ideas, tastes, opinions or body for the gratification of a man? Personally, this pandering bothers me.

    Also: Michelle Williams is an idiot.

  36. geri a says:

    I’ve have always had pretty short hair, except for high school, with the long hair, parted down the middle that we all did back then (which looked like crap on most of us). My husband doesn’t seem to care much what length it is, most of the time he doesn’t notice when I get my hair cut, which is fine. it just isn’t something he’s that concerned about (although i did get perms when we first met, and he told me later he wasn’t that thrilled with that look).

    i wonder if jon’s strong reaction is an age thing? i think i read once that he is more than a decade younger than you, so he is somewhere around 30, right? I find that younger men do seem to have stronger preferences when it comes to stuff like hair length. as they get older, these things seem less of a big deal.

    my friends and i were just talking about relationships, and how when we are dating we will love everything about them (or say we do), but then we get married and all of us seem to want to start “tweaking” the people we love. i love you, but…..could you lose a few pounds, or grow (or cut) your hair, or not talk so much, being more or less outgoing, or whatever once we get the person. maybe there is an element of boredom going on, when we are with someone day after day, same old, same old, we don’t want to totally change them, but we want some things to not be so familiar. And of course that makes people feel uncomfortable, less loved or desirable, when we start that tweaking of the people we love. (I had a friend whose husband wanted her to wear different wigs to bed, and i tell ya, that sure didn’t make her feel like he loved and appreciated her, which is what we all want, to be loved for who we are).

    whatever you decide, in the big scope of life, it’s just hair, ya know? you can grow it out if a little thing like that makes him happy, and think not a big deal, just hair. or if it is driving you nuts and you like and want it shorter, you can cut it and hopefully he will get to the point where he can think no big deal, just hair.

  37. Sarah says:

    @Michelle <3 your comment… How true that is. We women do slot of things to please our husbands as far as appearances etc.. Lol, I'd like a husband with a six pack too, he sure isn't working too hard on that.

    Anyway, I've mostly always had long hair never shorter than my
    Shoulders, except for the bad 'boy' cut I had at 13 and once I did use my hair as a tool of showingy him just how aggravated I was with him and the way things were going for a time. Rofl. I'll never forget it, I cut my waist length hair to a little below my shoulders. And I took the ponytail they cut off and sweetly laid it on my husbands pillow so it would be there when he came in to go to sleep. Omg. He really was surprised.

    My husband prefers long hair…. And for what specific reasons I'm not
    Sure, but i have my own suspicions

  38. John Dominic Barbarino says:

    OK. Michele is great, but she can sound bite like the best with the press. My sister when she was 18 was tapped by Frederik Fekkai to hair model. When he saw her from the line of suggested models, he asked her age. Then he said, “Oh, you would look great in the short cut but it would make you look too old. Like thirty.” So, she lost her shot at a very awesome haircut. Actually, at 37, she still wears it all pretty much one length to her shoulders and puts it up. And she colors it medium brown, her color. She looks great. Though, she could pull off the short cut anytime. She has a great face.

    Haircuts are about the shape of one’s face. And hair longer than the shoulders, draping down the back is probably still cool for the guys but not so hot a look for anyone. Gay guys lie, so they can still have a Chardonnay buddy.

    Now, get this, a dear friend who is 76 and wears a hearing aid always covered her ears in a mullet cut or some version of it. Without good cash, she asked me to cut it. I took it up mid ear and it is a full head of curls, bobbed. She just dined out with a woman friend she hasn’t seen in two years. She said, who is doing your hair. It is great. Color of hazelnut and pixie. For the senior woman short is way fine. Though, really, it isn’t a cut and dried solution. Depends on the face, the texture of the hair. And, yeah, boyfriends and husbands tend to disappear at that age. So maybe they are just free to be themselves: short and sassy.

  39. Hazel says:

    I have great hair–my best feature–so I leave it medium. Short, I don’t like, and long, it’s too much work. (Very thick, wavy, etc. Takes too long to dry.) I have never asked my husband’s opinion about what to do with my hair.

    Mostly I agree with the women who say it’s your hair, do what you want with it, but then I remember how upset I’d be if my husband grew a beard or mustache. I HATE facial hair on men. I would never date or marry someone with a beard or mustache. The whole thing disgusts me, hair on your face! So…yeah. It’s not as easy as “do what you want” when you’re in a marriage.

  40. Audrey Howard says:

    I too have long hair down to the middle of my back just past my bra strap and I”ve been growing out for the past 2.5 years now at the request of my man. I’ve always sported a much shorter haircut, Usually between chin and shoulders throughout the years. My most recent was a short inverted bob which in my heart I absolutely loved! I am however a big girl and sometimes bigger girls shouldn’t wear such short hair however most people always complimented my shorter haircuts. At the request of my male partner he wanted me to grow it long because he’d never seen me with long hair in all the years we’ve known each other and just wanted to see how I’d look so I decided to do so. He loves it. When I talk of cutting my hair, it’s usually in a threatening matter when he asks me if he can get his nose pierced (he’s 40) lol. I tell him “sure, but i’m going sharon stone on my hair” and he just laughs. recently we discussed my hair after I allowed him to color it from blonde to auburn (which he did a really nice job) and he said “well I asked you to grow it for me and I like it, seems you like it too but I know at times it gets annoying and you end up putting your hair up in a clip anyways so if you’d like feel free to cut your hair, just please don’t go too short, somewhere between chin and shoulders would be nice. so he likes the long hair but is also understanding enough to know longer hair can be a pain to care for on a daily basis when he see’s all the products I use to keep it healthy and shiny. I am glad he is not an adamant person about it, he loves me for me and will love me no matter what I do to my hair, he trusts my taste and judgement. Here is the funny part, I turn to our 17 year old son and tell him I’m going to cut my hair off and he said “yea? and when you do let me know because then im going to get my cheek tattooed” lol clearly most men prefer longer hair regardless if a shorter cut is more flattering on a woman lol

  41. Robin in the Boro says:

    I think it’s not fair to compare yourself with that actress who’s keeping her hair short in memory of her dead baby-daddy. (Not creepy at all, BTW). Men sometimes overlook that haircut on women who are movie-star hot, but they’re still OVERLOOKING. Here in the real world, I don’t get why men should be expected to overlook their own opinions and preferences because of all our awesome inner beauty? We can wish that would be the way things work, but it would be about as effective as wishing the grass purple and the sky green.

  42. s.m. dupree says:

    Butt length black hair is an incredibly sexy look on every woman I have seen it on. Followed by red, brown, blonde and gray in that order. OTOH, I would not (have not) let the lack of such stop me from appreciating the beauty of other external and internal aspects of a given female. But yes, all other things being equal, which they never are, I prefer long hair.

  43. Hair says:

    Long hair, or longer than a typical man’s cut, always looks better on a woman, Mia Farrow included.

  44. Shelley says:

    The one time I had short hair I discovered I have a cowlick on my crown that makes me look exactly like Dennis the Menace unless I glue it down with about half a bottle of hair gel. So, no short hair for me. But I really do prefer longer hair for myself, and IMO it is flattering on more women (at least those who don’t have Mia Farrow’s cheekbones).

  45. Meghan says:

    I have long brown hair to mid-back although my hair was chin length all throughout college. Now that I’m thirty and climbing the professional ladder, I have thought it might not be appropriate for the workplace, but I LOVE long hair.

    First and foremost, I agree with most commenters that it mainly comes down to what looks good with a person’s face. Looking at old photos, the short hair cuts do nothing for me. I look, and more importantly, feel more attractive with long hair.

    Secondly, what most people don’t discuss is that longer hair is WAY easier than short hair. I swear. My hair doesn’t get nearly as greasy as it did short (I think because you touch it less when it is long. You aren’t always fussing with it).

    Plus, you dont have to wash your hair daily (in fact, that’s really bad for your hair) and third, I think it’s easier to style long. Just throw some curls in with a curling iron and it looks great. Takes 60 seconds, tops. When my hair was short (even more when I had swooping bangs) it would go in all different directions and my bangs were all over.

    Finally, I feel like your thesis is true. Every boyfriend has always loved long hair. Only one specifically asked I keep it long, but all of them adored it. It makes me feel fun, sexy and free. And, with my job, a bit of a rebel.

    -M

    ps. When I was 16 and standing in line at the local costco with my mom, I had a huge “a-ha” moment when I looked around at all the women in the checkout line and ALL of them had the “mom haircut.” (short for convenience only. No style. No shape. It looked like they had given up) it freaked me out and I made a promise never to do that. So, maybe that is driving my decision at some level to keep mine long.

    Ps. My mom had the mom cut for many years and looking back on family photos you could te she hated it. She finally grew it out at my dad’s bequest in the last five years to a bit lower than her chin. She looks fabulous!

  46. suse says:

    It’s definitely a (white) American cultural thing – I’m in a different country and a) not many 30+ women have long hair here or in many European countries and b) I really notice the ubiquity of images of women with long hair in the American media. To me, long hair on women who are older than their 30s looks dated and unstylish. I had long hair till I was 26, have had many variations of above-shoulder length hair ever since and enjoy having different styles. I think long hair on over 40s is ageing. Short hair is easy to manage, you can go swimming, you can run, play sports, not have anyone pull your hair. I think short hair looks more adult.

  47. Barbara says:

    I find this whole conversation very interesting. My husband and I have been together since the mid-’80s (!) so I’ve had pretty much every incarnation of hairstyle, except very long. Of course, in the ’80s, I permed my hair to give it the “volume” everyone was sporting at the time. I shudder to think of the money I dropped in the salon for this look. One day, after I had made an appointment but was complaining about the time the process of perming it took, my husband said, “Then don’t do it.” After some back-and-forth, I asked him if he didn’t like the perm look. “Well,” he said, “I just miss that girl I fell in love with, with the shiny, shiny straight hair.” Call me a pushover, but that melted my heart. I cancelled the appointment and never got another perm again. And all these years later, I still have that shiny, shiny hair. :-)

  48. whatyouwant says:

    I agree wholeheartedly with Jo Sassmouth. Seriously, it’s not some sort of cultural phenomenon…it’s just personal preference. My hair is, most of the time mid-length. I have thick, wavy hair and I prefer it long(er), but I’m beginning to concede that it looks better at a shorter length. Not short, but shorter. I feel like short hair is more work for me. For one thing, you have to get it cut more frequently!

  49. Paul says:

    As one of the few males responding, I must say I adore longer hair. I love the look of it, the feel, the sweet small of a clean head of hair. I love running my hands through it, rubbing my wife’s scalp and brushing her hair out for her. From a style point of view, doesn’t it provide more options on how to wear it? For example, pulled up, pulled back, pony tail, fully down etc. From a male point of view, it is simply, for me, the most noticed physical attribute when I see a woman. Some women CAN wear their hair short and it still looks attractive to me. I think it depends on the person, hair type etc. But in general, long hair is a huge attraction for me. I agree with the previous poster who commented on how it becomes complicated when you are in a relationship – I fully agree that in the end it is my wife’s choice on how she wears her hair. But….I’m afraid I don’t understand why she wouldn’t want to wear it the way her partner for life finds it most attractive. When I married my wife, she had long hair. When I say long, I mean around her shoulder blades. When we had kids, she cut it short. I still love my wife, very much. But I don’t understand why she couldn’t wear it the way she knows I like it for SOME of the time……it has been short for 18 years, couldn’t we go long for a few years? We are best friends and still very much in love, and part of that for me includes doing things SHE likes, for example no facial hair on me and staying fit. It is a bit of a disappointment for me that she isn’t willing to so the same things for me. In the end, it is HER CHOICE and I respect that. But at the same time disappointing she isn’t willing to do it even part of the time for me.

  50. Scott says:

    I know I can’t speak for all straight men, but I will say something most would probably not say to their significant other….feminine (“pretty”, although that’s subjective) facial features are a must for short hair to be attractive to men. Otherwise it’s a little too confusing, like I know that’s a woman but she looks like a boy.

  51. Clisby says:

    I’m with Meghan. I don’t know what some other posters are imagining about long-hair maintenance – but it’s dead easy. I speak as someone whose shortest haircut in the past 20 years was just below shoulder-length, and I’m happily growing that out now. There’s nothing to maintaining long hair – it’s short hair that’s a pain. You can go years between haircuts with long hair – you can’t do that if you want a pixie cut. I have no idea (and no particular interest in) what most men like – but I think long hair generally makes women look younger. Maybe the real question is: Do most men prefer younger women?

    As an aside, I DEFINITELY prefer long hair on men.

  52. Rob says:

    OK, I’ll bite. Short hair CAN look attractive on some women, especially those who have nicely shaped ears and necks. But even on the best of them, give the hair a year or more of positive growth, we’re in double-take territory. And waist-length or longer locks, the knees buckle.
    Just watch male eyes when a woman takes down her LONG hair. Hardly a man alive would not crave seeing his woman do this in HIS bedroom. I wish that more women would appreciate the ultra sensuality that long hair brings to them. It is getting better, especially among the over 40 crowd who are experiencing renewed enjoyment flaunting notable tresses.

  53. Cricket says:

    I would guess the reason J likes it longer is because it is more feminine – period.

    I disagree with the comment above about women over 40 looking older. I am in my 40′s with long hair.. my husband is in his 30′s and everyone says I look younger:)

    In fact the opposite is true. There are some beautiful older (over 60/70) women Sophia Loren, Lauren Becall, Lauren Hutton, Ali Magraw, etc. who have longer hair and it works.

  54. NHMaman says:

    If you want some offensive/depressing research about biological determinism about how men prefer women with shiny hair (I don’t recall it mentioning length, but there is the flirting hair flip behavior mentioned), certain waist/hip proportions, sizable breasts, etc., read David Brooks’ The Social Animal. Most of the book goes beyond that, but one would hope that our husbands love us for more than hair length and waist/hip ratio! I’m sure hair length is just one factor, much like a man saying he enjoys when his s.o. wears sexier clothes instead of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

    Find a good stylist to shape it up, even though it’s longer, so you feel both sexy and professional, a good combination if you want to embrace it.

  55. Monika says:

    Can I just add… I love it when a MAN can carry off longer hair.

    My husband had longish hair the past 2 years, and got tons of compliments. We were living in Europe, moving in diplomatic circles (very formal clothing, suits and ties every day), and gosh it looked good. I remember seeing him last winter in his navy winter coat across a long lobby, and my knees buckled. And we’ve been together 22 years, and he’s now 50 (which no one believes — he looks younger than most 40 year olds, and has no grey). I’m sad he’s wearing it shorter these days…

    On the right man, long hair is terribly sexy (Taylor Kitsch anyone?).

  56. Liz says:

    Well, this is depressing. I really wanted to get a short haircut, but if it means that I will significantly decrease my chances of finding a husband, I am not so sure. I actually feel kind of bad for even considering it.

  57. Violette says:

    My boyfriend loves my long, curly hair…whe­n I go for a trim, he always says something about not cutting off too much.

    He makes it all worthwhile though…h­is hands are constantly twined in my hair, he is always compliment­ing me on it, smelling it and telling me how sweet it smells, and more. It makes me feel so pretty, and that the care I put into my hair and skin really matters to him.

    Hair is sensual…­I would never take that out of our “bag of tricks”!

    Also, I grew up in the era of the Breck Girl….I FULLY expected men, once I was an adult, to not be able to keep their hands out of my hair, and to constantly tell me how gorgeous it was!

    So it’s good my guy and I found each other :)

  58. Moi says:

    My experience is similar to Monika’s — I was forced to have boy-short hair as a kid because my hair is thick and curly and nobody wanted to deal with maintaining it, so as soon as I left home, I started growing it out, and what a feeling of freedom and control over my own appearance that was! My mom had “mom hair” her whole life (as do my dad’s sisters, although his mom had lovely long hair that she fussed with and “did” all the time) out of convenience, and because my dad always seemed vaguely annoyed by female vanity and getting-ready-time. He wanted us to be wash-and-go.

    Ironically, possibly because of my curls, it just *will not grow* past about shoulderblade level, no matter what I do. I haven’t really cut any length off in my entire adult life, but every other year or so, I’ll trim off maybe two inches, and periodically I’ll hack in some bangs myself with sewing scissors in the bathroom mirror, and because of the curls you can’t tell if it’s uneven.

    My ex liked it long (although if he’d preferred it short, he might have had a battle on his hands) — but he was always trying to get me to change the color (my natural color is medium/darkish brown; he wanted a blonde). Once, to throw him a bone, I had highlights put in, and frankly I thought they made me look trashy and stupid, and wrecked my hair’s texture, plus then I was stuck either having to maintain them (at great expense) or look like an idiot as they grew out. Never, ever again. Even if (insert hunky celebrity of choice here) asked me to do it, I wouldn’t do something that would damage my hair like that.

    My current boyfriend has said he likes my hair, but then again, we’re not at the point yet where he feels he has (or I’d grant him) the right to issue edicts about my appearance. :) He’s mentioned that when he returns to school next year (i.e. no longer in a corporate environment) he wants to grow his own hair long, and while I am emphatically *not* a fan of longer hair on most men (there are a few who can pull it off — but even then, most of them look better to me after they cut it; they’re handsome in spite of the long hair, not because of it) … I wouldn’t presume to tell him I’d rather he didn’t, but I’m secretly hoping he decides it’s too much work and gives up on the project. ;) (no, I would never EVER tell him this straight-up nor hint in any way, and I fully acknowledge it’s shallow of me)

  59. Monika says:

    p.s. Katie, for what it is worth, I think you are just going through the growing-it-out-doldrums. Once you get past this frustrating in-between stage, and have your hair hit the top of your shoulder, things will be so much easier. You’ll be able to pull it back, put it up, and have fun with hair accessories and earrings (which I see you liking). I think you would look stunning with a shoulder-skimming blunt cut — no bangs, and NO layers. A very classic cut that looks great on many people (even, umm, Taylor Kitsch and my hubbie ;-) ).

  60. Scott Baker says:

    Is this a serious question? Of course men prefer long hair on women! Look at the movies, the skin-mags, porn, or anything else men gravitate to. Now, if you really want to see short hair on women, go to a chick flick. middle aged women and women who don’t care, go for short hair. Well, that’s not a turn on to most men, is it?
    My wife tells me she will cut her hair when it gets too grey because it is too hard to color long hair. So, there you have it – cutting of the hair is ending of the youth.

  61. Christine says:

    My husband was upset when I cut my hair (it wasn’t even waist-length at the time, and I only cut it to chin-length). However, he was ok with it once we talked it over. Part of the problem was that if he wouldn’t dream of cutting his hair that short, and thought I was doing some sort of self-sabotage, or self-loathing thing. Once I explained that I don’t have as much of my identity tied up in long hair as he does it wasn’t as big a deal. I think he prefers it long though, despite me never wearing it down, and not just because I cannot wear hair shorter than my shoulders (it frizzes too much).

  62. Rob says:

    I don’t know, Scott. I see lots of women with beautiful long silver hair. A woman may color it, or keep it natural, but there is no reason that a woman’s hair needs a chopping once color fades. Women over 40 or 50 with well cared for long locks look striking, even hot, much more so than they would with a short “mature” haircut. Look at Jane Seymour! To hell with caving to societal demands.

  63. mccn says:

    My husband is definitely on the side of Katie’s – he loves me no matter what, and genuinely believes it when he tells me I’m cute no matter what, but he’s also made no secret of preferring my hair longer, although I prefer it short! I grew it out at his request a while ago, and he still comments from time to time about how much better he likes it! I mostly am just amused – he can’t seem to explain it any more than I can. I have theories that it’s bound up in our ideas of beauty, which tend to still be promulgated in most media as thin, white lady beauty – and if you look, Victoria’s Secret models and the like are full of long-haired traditionally white-lovely ladies! I think that this idea is bound up in our ideas of sexiness and beauty in part of because that’s how beauty is sold by most media, and maybe that helps bolster the preference – but I also think it could just be innate. I’ve never found blond-haired guys attractive, and have always had a preference for the brunettes; my husband likes the ladies with long hair! So, who knows – but I’m definitely one of the gang, here.

  64. L says:

    I don’t see too many women with beautiful long, silver hair. Some, yes, but not too many. Usually the texture changes and becomes wiry or unruly with silver and sorry, but I see long gray/silver hair and unless it’s exceptional, well most women look like part of a coven. Contrary to popular belief, long hair is NOT that difficult to color…you don’t even apply it all over every time.

    I personally don’t like short hair on myself. I would only choose it for medical reasons. And as far as Gabby Giffords…she IS growing it out. That’s grown out from shaved for surgery.

  65. Rob says:

    From what I read hear, the answer to your question appears to be that most men do prefer long hair.

    But I don’t think its that simple.

    As for myself, I’m an adult male who overwhelmingly prefers short hair on women. For me, its sexier, and gets my attention immediately. An attractive woman with long hair permeates my consciousness slowly, and don’t get me wrong, as a healthy (more or less) heterosexual, I appreciate her presence

    It might have something to do with the story that goes on in my head when I see a woman with short hair; (something about confidence and daring), but trust me, I do know that is all projection. Danica Patrick is as confident and daring as any human can be and she doesn’t require short hair to prove that.

    I think it gets complicated when couples get involved. When a wife asks her husband how he feels about her cutting her hair short, fear of the unknown becomes a factor. He knows how he feels about her right now, as she is, and she is asking him to project an image onto her that goes against every convention mass media tells him. Unless he is very strong, he is fighting images of long haired models, TV stars, and not to be underestimated, the judgement of his friends. Yes, you heard it. His friends. He’s going to have to face the derision of his friends, even if its not blatant. It takes a pretty strong guy under those circumstances not to feel panic in that situation.

    I don’t know that just going ahead and cutting it short without asking him is such a good idea, either. That same fear and panic is going to rear its head there as well, and probably anger will be involved.

    I’ve heard many women say that their husband/boyfriend/significant other shouldn’t have control over their hair, but relationships are all about give and take. If my woman wanted me to grow a mustache, or wear more red shirts, defiance out of insistence that I should be in control of my appearance doesn’t seem to be one of those battles that’s worth picking. If something that simple can make her happier, I’m all for it.

    But here’s the complication. As a short-haired lover, I’ve always suspected that other men have the same reaction as I do to an attractive woman with short hair; that she will get their attention quickly. I recently had the opportunity to test my instinct. I was at a sports bar with 3 friends for lunch.

    Our order was taken by a quite attractive long-haired waitress. There were, of course, comments made about her, but the conversation very quickly returned to work related activities.

    When the meals were prepared, however, a very short-haired waitress was called upon to helpthe original waitress bring our meals to the table.

    As she placed the meals on the table before us, you could hear a pin drop.

    I, of course, was in love (yes, figuratively. I’m not that shallow.) When the two waitresses had left the area, it took a few seconds before conversation restarted.

    It went something like this. One of the others spoke first.

    “I don’t normally like short hair girls, but she was beautiful.”

    All the others were in quick agreement.

    I kept silent.

    I think times are ‘a changin’ though. Younger men and women, certainly in some circles, don’t seem to be tuned in as previous generations to long hair on women. I’ve never bought into the theory that some have come up with; that we men are hard-wired to be attracted to long hair on a woman.

    And finally, does it matter what ‘most men’ prefer? After you, and your hubby, who else really matters? And most of those people, after their initial reaction, will stop worrying about it, one way or another.

    Good luck!

  66. Abby says:

    I’ve had long hair and I’ve had very short hair. I dont think, for the most part, most men are concerned about your “inner beauty”. So I get why many will be opposed to short hair. But just because a woman has short hair doesnt mean she’s “given up” or she’s trying to “out man” you. Its all in how you dress, act, etc. I’ve seen plenty of sloppy women with greasy thin LONG hair and I dont think thats attractive. If you are super concerned with being hit on then dont cut your hair, and while you are at it, get some plastic boobs and offer up some casual sex because… guys like that too. If we are so worried about appealing to the masses or the next person that speaks up, then sign your life over.

    Long or short hair, doesnt mean you are guaranteed happiness with the opposite sex or same sex. There are plenty of long haired women who are unhappy in their relationships or marriages. At the end of the day, if you are not guaranteed happiness (through hair length etc.) then whats it matter if men pay attention to you or your hair?

  67. Dawn says:

    I’ve been trying to grow my hair out and my hair dresser just cut MORE off than last time. My hair is very short. My ex boyfriend liked my hair short or long but that relationship is over. I am single and I don’t feel very sexy right now. My hairdresser said it would grow. She has long hair so it is easy for her to say.

    Oh well. I am going to hang my head high, dress femininely and spend extra time on my make-up.

    ….I may be single for awhile and I’m NOT going back to that hairdresser.

  68. Rob says:

    I’m the *long hair loving* Rob. Indeed there are a few women who actually look *better* with short hair. You make a good point that friends may give a ribbing to the guy whose wife has just gone for the “soccer mom” short haircut. But I don’t think that there is any chance that the younger generation will value long hair on women less.
    For those who must cut their hair due to physical problems, or those who simply don’t enjoy dealing with length, find the short cut which looks best on you. For a good friend of mine, who has a pretty neck and close ears, the pixie really works. There is probably a shorter cut that looks at least decent on every woman.
    Abby, you make excellent points initially, but I’ve got to tell you, a plain looking woman with lovely long hair is beautiful. No boob job or casual sex necessary. She could wear burlap and be HOT!!
    Finally, Dawn, I’m really sorry about your frustrating and infuriating experience. Get a good friend to trim only the bottom layer of your hair every 6 months or so, and you will soon have gorgeous long hair. Stay away from salons. Too many stylists have their own agendas, which often do not match their client’s. That What Not To Wear show features Stacie London, who encourages guests to chop their hair, but notice she keeps hers long! Oh, and I like the idea of hanging your head high! It might be interesting for you to note the reactions of guys you meet if you casually mention that you are growing your hair. That *may* catch their attention! *wink*

  69. Anthony Harmon says:

    As a male and a straight male, I will admit to liking long hair on a woman. Short hair on a woman is about like no hair on a man. Only a few can actually pull it off. Take say, Lorrie Morgan….she wore her hair short for quite a while and she looks great with short hair, BUT, she looks even BETTER with long hair. So, as the Bible indicates, a woman’s hair is her glory. (paraphrased).

  70. Jenny C says:

    i am currently in norwood 1 hair loss phase, and i have taken some treatment like minoxidil,nizorak shampoo and thx god my hair stop falling, Thanks for the author for the information you provided here, i will come back soon…defenitely bookmark it !

  71. [...] I realize that this is actually my second hair-related blog post in as many months. Not sure why I’ve written two posts about hair lately, but I swear it [...]

  72. Kel says:

    Honestly, I dont think it matters what a man thinks about the length of your hair. Whatever makes you feel the best is what you should do. Why are so many women worried about what men think. It’s all about how you feel. If you care what a man likes, well they like confidence. If you are confident with short hair go short cause thats what makes you feel good and men notice that and if you are confident with long hair go long… It’s not that hard to decide. Women are way too worried about what everyone else thinks, it is your hair, do what YOU want!

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    I found this site by accident, but had to read this post! I’ll be back! Cheers!

  74. Nic says:

    Oh hell yeah!!!! After I was done being pregnant with out first born and gave birth and all, I was walking through the mall as a mommy looking for baby stuff, and saw a salon. Now I’ve ALWAYS had and been known for my long blonde hair. But now I’m a mother, and a wife, new chapter! So I walked in with my son and said chop it off! In the meantime, I saw a picture of a woman similar to me with short red hair, and so I said, you know, dye it red!!!!! Anyway, when I walked out I felt like a new lady with short hair, they had buzzed the back which was honestly very liberating. When I walked in the door with my son and new hair cut, my hubby LITERALLY wanted to jump my bones. After I nursed the baby (with him staring, lol!), I put him to sleep and my husband ran over, tackled me and was like YOU ARE SOOOOO SEXY WITH YOUR SHORT RED HAIR, as a mother!!!!!! And it was beyond amazing. Now I just own being a short-haired redhead like its my job! I’m always going to have super short hair from now on, but I think I may try jet black next time! ;) but hubbbby loved my big chop, more than me I think lol! And my son doesn’t pull my hair anymore lol

  75. C says:

    Who CARES what a MAN thinks. Let’s stop looking through the male gaze and start redefining femininity. Determine what is best for yourself!!! :)

    Short hair keeping you single? Hell no.

  76. B says:

    My boyfriend of many years says that he prefers short hair on women and men. He thinks it generally looks more stylish. I have had both long and very short hair during our relationship, and he is most definitely more fond of the pixie cut. He says it makes me look like a French film starlet, which is very kind.
    My dad categorically thinks that men should have short hair, and women long. Yet, by long he means between chin to collarbone length. Although he did say to my sister a while ago that he thinks short looks better on me. What can you do!
    I actually prefer long hair on men as long as it’s well maintained. I recently cut my boyfriend’s below shoulder length hair short after he pestered me for a month. He looks better actually, as his confidence improved with the cut.
    What I have found is that men will be either indifferent to or very drawn to long hair. When it comes to short hair they will either dislike it or adore it. I have shaved my head 3 times and had straight men approach me in the street on a weekly basis (in London, so not a place where strangers talk freely) to tell me that they love my hair (or lack of). That did not happen once when I had elbow length well conditioned hair in my early 20s.
    I currently have a pixie cut after having collarbone length hair with fringe for a while. For some reason it’s a more feminine look for me.
    PS. Michelle Williams, there are straight men in Hollywood??

  77. a coles says:

    it depend on the lady my wife hair is below her wait and takes 3hair to dry only problem she in is washing it so this done every two weeks and puts her hair

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