Ever since that little incident a few months back – you know, that time I became trapped inside my Honda Odyssey minivan and barely escaped a raging flash flood, all while on my lunch hour from work? Yeah that one. Well, ever since then, I’ve been driving my my mother in law’s loaned – and STYLIN’ – Taurus wagon around town (thanks Janice!).
Our post-flood car hunt has been challenging. We needed to find a car we could buy supercheap at this particular moment in time, and it needed to be a minivan, since there are a lot of us in our family, including C and G in carseats that have to be secured into place with more anchors and locks than Fort Knox. Moving carseats around doesn’t work. I can’t ever get them put in right. They need to be installed properly and then stay put. Plus, the whole taking two separate cars whenever the whole family needs to go somewhere at the same time has gotten really old, really fast.
But our budget for a replacement vehicle has been….ummm…how to say this delicately yet clearly?…Extremely small.
See, we are currently trying to dig out from under the past 24 months of calamitous events in our lives, many involving huge medical bills, and that means no car payment for us right now. Cash only.
Since I really don’t care one iota what I drive as long as it’s safe and we all fit in it, and since I HATE shopping for cars, I authorized Jon to find and buy the new family truckster with no input from me.
Thus, I am informed by phone just now that my husband and Dr. Neighbor are currently downtown at the Brewpub (yes, Dr. Neighbor is temporarily back in town, getting innoculated for his upcoming trip to Ecuador) toasting the savvy purchase they’ve just made of a new vehicle for me. Well, Jon bought it, but Dr. Neighbor advised and consulted.
Apparently, I am now the proud owner of the finest GOLDEN minivan that the $3,000 we were able to scrape together money can buy… That’s right, my new ride is a SOLID GOLD, 2001 Chrysler Town ‘n’ Country. Doesn’t that sound fancypants? Just say it out loud to yourself, with the emphasis where it belongs…“Katie now drives a GOLDEN Town ‘n’ Country!”
Now say it more slowly with a sort of Thurston Howell, III lockjaw thing going on. EVEN FANCIER.
The guys assure me that the “mild to moderate” hail damage does not in any way detract from my new GOLDEN minivan’s cachet.
I’m thinking that with my new gold-plated ride, I will remind everyone who sees me tooling around town of Charlton Heston in Ben Hur. No, not because I am tall, handsome, or speak in a dramatic baritone. And not because I’m a gun nut. No, it will be because just like a fleet and shiny chariot, my dimpled, yet GOLDEN Chrysler minivan will be something that everyone else in my neighborhood will surely covet when we are all stopped at the red light on Broadway at the same time, you know, that one next to Dollar General, the Fellini Kroger and the Bad Times Taco Bell?
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