Hot Blogging Trend: Line Breaks!

Return! Return! Return!!

I’ve noticed a trend.

On blogs.

Where people write one or two sentences or phrases.

And then insert a line break, and start the next one.

I’m not sure quite why they do it. I guess they think it makes the blog easier to read. But does it?

Oops – that was three sentences.

Did I lose you there?

Sorry.

I personally find it harder, not easier to read. And a little annoying.

Because I feel like I’m reading a list, instead of a coherent narrative.

And I feel like every sentence is supposed to be dramatic and important.

Even if it isn’t.

Like this sentence.

Or this one.

I know that reading on the computer is different from reading in print.

Web writing definitely needs to be more scannable, with shorter paragraphs when possible.

But this is sort of ridiculous.

Don’t you think?

I don’t know. Maybe people like it.

Maybe you like it.

And maybe if I wrote all my posts like this, I’d have, like, a zillion readers.

I’d be one of those people who blogs for a living, and I’d have 80,000 Twitter Followers instead of 800.

Not that that’s what I really want. At all.

But what the heck, I’ll try it out. With actual content, I mean.

Ahem.

The other night before bedtime, Elsa and Clio wanted to look at some pictures of themselves when they were babies.

So I got out a photo album, and we sat on Clio’s bed, paging through it as if it were a bedtime story. I told them about the day they were born, and what it was like to bring them home—how exciting and terrifying at once. And they totally ate it up.

Shit — I’m not very good at this, am I?

That was, like, a whole freakin’ paragraph.

And it sounded like my own, personal writing style.

As opposed to this list-y thing.

Let me try again.

We looked at the pictures together, and the girls hung on my every word.

And we lingered over every page.

They wanted to know how they came to be.

They wanted to connect their past with their present.

Their presence.

It was a new sort of awareness.

And it was beautiful.

And I wept.

Just kidding.

I’m sorry. I can’t write this way.

It’s just not me, you know?

I just gotta be me.

Right?

Exactly.

So, thanks for reading.

Of course, reading this was probably less tiring than usual. What with all the “paragraphs” I usually use.

But I hope that it left you empty in some way.

Wanting more.

More words per line, specifically.

Because that’s exactly what I plan to deliver in my next post.

Which I hope you will read, assuming I haven’t completely annoyed you.

Or insulted you, if you happen to write your blog like this.

If you do write your blog this way, I’m just saying: think about working up to three, maybe even four sentences in a row. You might be surprised with the results.

Anyway, I’m going to go now.

Goodbye.

You’re the best.

Take care.

This is sort of like “Waiting for Godot.” Like at the end, where they say they’re going to go, but they don’t.

You know?

Samuel Beckett would have been a great one-line blogger.

Never mind.

Goodbye for real.

Adios.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Adieu.

P.S.

Tweet this.

“Like” it.

Make me famous.

Please.

Good bye.

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EDEN LAKE


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