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Help Me, Help Her

 

“Are you free to pop up to school for a sec? I can’t get {princess} to stop crying…she’s upset over her reading test grade of 84. It was a hard test…I told her I was proud of her, but…she is sobbing”

That’s the message I got from my 9 yo daughter’s teacher earlier today. I was at home, so I messaged back immediately and told her that I’d be right up there.

Fun with Dick and Jane

I checked in to the office, went to her class and when she turned around her face was swollen, her eyes red and puffy and her breathing jagged.

Over an 84 on a test.

Her wonderfully insightful and amazing teacher had already told her she was proud of her and that she’d tried her best, it was a hard test, and it would be okay…but she wasn’t hearing it.

She was devastated over a B on a six-weeks test.

She was so hysterical that I took her home from school — her eyes hurt my heart.

Nathan and I have always impressed upon our kids the importance of school and learning and getting good grades, but we’ve never punished, yelled or in any way disciplined for getting less than A.

Whenever there’s an opportunity to review a paper, homework or test with the kids and talk about what they missed and why — we take it.

We read with the kids, go over their homework with them and celebrate their accomplishments…

Today has left my heart weary and feeling somewhat like I’m failing her.

Her heart is huge, her confidence great and she’s practically fearless — but today, I saw a broken sadness in her eyes that hurts me to the core.

Nathan is just as baffled as I am.

How do we find the balance?

How do we keep school important, without having it become everything? How do I help her to understand that as long as she tries her best, that’s what matters the most?

What can I do to help her? I can’t and won’t run to her rescue every time something happens because she needs to stand on her own and know that while I’m always right there waiting to help her, I won’t solve everything for her.

School’s only going to get harder and I don’t want her to lose her drive, enthusiasm and passion…

I would love to hear any advice y’all have, any resources you have to share or any stories of your own.

image credit – Calliope via flickr

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