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How To Make A Baby

How To Make A Baby - A Visual Guide!We think it’s time to have THE TALK, dear readers.

You’re getting older and there are some things you don’t know about. We know there are lots of rumors. People talk. Kids at school. But it’s time you hear how babies are made.

No, we’re not talking about sex. That’s gross. Get your mind out of the gutter.

WE’RE TALKING ABOUT THE REAL WAY BABIES ARE MADE.

We’re talking about babies, silly. And where they come from.

Since we’re dads, we can tell you the real story. And we have the photographic proof…

Class is now in session.

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  • Step 1: Insertion 1 of 7
    Step 1: Insertion
    Insert hose in appropriate opening. A proper seal is key.
  • Step 2: Wait 2 of 7
    Step 2: Wait
    Waiting is necessary to ensure proper fill-times.
  • Step 3: Comfort 3 of 7
    Step 3: Comfort
    Find a comfortable position. Belly may expand.
  • Step 4: Tight Clothes 4 of 7
    Step 4: Tight Clothes
    Clothes may become tight. Beware of blast radius. Proceed with caution.
  • Step 5: Boom 5 of 7
    Step 5: Boom
    Boom.
  • Step 6: Catch 6 of 7
    Step 6: Catch
    Practice catching sacks of flower before babysplosion. This is vital to success.
  • Step 7: Celebrate 7 of 7
    Step 7: Celebrate
    Congratulations on a job well done!

Photos by Patrice Laroche

Feel enlightened yet? That’s what we thought. Spread the word to all your friends.

The truth is out there.

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