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Lamar and Ronnie Tyler have used social media to build an online movement around promoting healthy families and marriages. By following their passion, they have stumbled into their purpose. From blogging to speaking to creating films with sold-out screenings across the country, the Tylers are loving life and each other along the way. You can find out more about the Atlanta based couple and their four kids on their personal blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com.

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3 Reasons Why Your Spouse Needs a Partner, Not a Helper

By Ronnie Tyler |

Spouse=Partner

When Lamar and I met, I had two kids. After he proposed, we had a conversation where I told him exactly what I was looking for in a husband. I told him I needed a partner who would share in all things family-related: from taking care of the kids to doing housework. I wasn’t interested in being married to a person who “helped out” from time to time. Luckily, Lamar did not take his ring and run for the hills from this ready-made family he was about to join. Instead, he took on the challenge and became the best husband, father, and, yes, partner that I could ask for.

Hear me out: there is nothing wrong with helping your spouse. Being helpful is a good thing! However, you should not be satisfied with being just a helper or someone who assists.  Your spouse needs a partner — someone who shares in the responsibilities of taking care of the home, the kids, the finances, and the overall health of your marriage.

The Difference Between Being a Partner and a Helper

A partner has a stake in the game — meaning he or she has ownership. A partner is not going to wait until someone asks for help. A partner has a vested interest in seeing the marriage and family succeed.  A helper, on the other hand, will assist but does not take on ownership. A helper can decide to participate or opt-out because it’s not their responsibility, after all. A partner will step up to the plate whether he or she feels like it or not.

Why Your Spouse Needs a Partner
- Your spouse needs a partner because there’s nothing better than knowing that you have someone to share this journey called life with.
- Your spouse needs a partner because as you’re building this life together, you both share an equal role in its growth and the responsibilities that go along with it.
- Your spouse needs a partner because it’s incredibly lonely and stressful when you are not sure that they will always be there with their support.

How a Partnership Can Set You Up for Long-Term Success

Being partners does not mean you share every task or responsibility 50-50. There are things that Lamar handles, and there are things that I handle. But as partners, we never allow the other person to be stressed or overwhelmed. We have each other’s backs. And when I fall short, he is there to carry me. I have had helpers in the past. It was nice at times, but other times it was nerve-racking and full of uncertainty.

In the end, there is nothing that feels more comfortable, secure, or safe than knowing that your spouse is your partner.

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About Ronnie Tyler

rtyler

Ronnie Tyler

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler have used social media to build an online movement around promoting healthy families and marriages. The Atlanta basedparents of four run the award-winning website BlackandMarriedWithKids.com. They are also filmmakers and public speakers that have discovered their purpose through pursuing their passion. Read bio and latest posts → Read Ronnie's latest posts →

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2 thoughts on “3 Reasons Why Your Spouse Needs a Partner, Not a Helper

  1. babbu bhullar says:

    That’s really very NICE.Good Luck.

  2. HD Kelly says:

    Absolutely EXCELLENT. Not only well said but TRUTH! When you have a partner it can make EVERY difficult season that much smoother.

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