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I Forgot About Picture Day (and other parental failures)

I forgot all about picture day.

I have no excuse. I am over my cold, I was in town, the alarm went off on time. To be honest, I wrote out the checks last night – less than 18 hours ago. We discussed it as a family. I’m not sure how I blanked on it this morning.

I feel kind of sick to my stomach. I know in the long run it isn’t a big deal. So they look like second graders in their second grade pictures? That is how it should be, right? It isn’t like they left the house with chocolate all over their faces. (I hope.) I fed them. I sent them with lunch and a snack. I told them I loved them before they got on the bus. Why do I feel like such a terrible parent?

Probably because this isn’t my first parental failure.

I can’t even imagine what my daughter’s teacher thinks of me. It isn’t so much that I ousted her a mayor of the elementary school on foursquare as much as the fact that on foursquare my name is Goon Squad. Sometimes I hope the teachers know about and understand blogging. Other times I just hope that they didn’t read that one post about my underpants falling down in Tae Kwon Do or that I think flipping people off with two hands and calling it “Tennessee Style” is just about the funniest thing in the whole entire word.

Also one time my daughter went to school wearing no pants.

In my defense, she was wearing a shirt and very thick dark tights that really looked like leggings at 7:00 in the morning.

I’ve made other parenting mistakes. One time my son missed a birthday party because I didn’t check one of my e-mail addresses for three weeks. I have forgotten snacks. I have forgotten lunch money. Once I put my one year old daughter down a the top of the stairs in a very slippery snowsuit. That didn’t end well either.

When my son had cradle cap as a infant I got dandruff shampoo in his eyes. He cried for 40 minutes. That was seven and half years ago and I still feel bad about it.

One time while doing dishes I didn’t know my son was behind me and I spun around and accidentally hit him in the head with a cast iron skillet.

Parental guilt is such a weird thing. I know I am a good mother. I know I am trying to raise my children well, but when I send them off to little league practice in a spaghetti stained shirt or mismatched socks I feel like I have let them down. I know there are actual bad parents out there. Parents that beat their kids or just don’t bother coming home. I know that some mothers smoke crack when they are pregnant or steal from their children. I know I am not that mom. I can’t figure out why I feel so bad about stupid picture day.

Wait a second.

I just realized why my seven year old son wore the collared shirt and why my daughter took 30 minutes to get dressed. I feel like a fool. At least they remembered. I am raising responsible human beings!  have taught them to be more responsible than I am. Maybe I’m not so bad at this gig after all.

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