The past month has been, to say the least, hectic. It’s been wonderful career wise, and on the home front, my husband got a promotion and my daughter is doing wonderfully at school. But there is one area in which we all have failed.
I’ll admit. I have never been a fan of it. From the time I was small, where my only task was to do dishes twice a week, I have loathed cleaning. It’s something that I do out of need, not out of want. My husband, on the other hand, loves it. His face is at total peace when he mops the floor or dusts the ceiling fan. I think he is a little crazy, but it’s worked in our favor for the past few years. My daughter is only 6, so her cleaning is limited to picking up her toys (which she does well! She must get that from my husband). So, now that he is working more, both of us have done the bare minimum to keep the apartment looking somewhat livable. Then, I was asked to host an event in my home and I said, “sure!” As soon as I hit send on that email, I looked around and said, “oh god, how are we gonna clean this mess?”
For over a week I planned and shifted my schedule so that I could clean, one room at a time. Should have been easy enough- we’re in a mid-size 2 bdrm apartment. No big extras. I planned, God laughed. Each thing I tried to do got taken over by something else. I finally broke down and asked some friends for a cleaning lady recommendation. My intention was really to get some prices and help just for this one event. But I was feeling so guilty. I mean, come on. I work at home! It should be easy, right? I should have made some time, somewhere, just to get the cleaning done. Aren’t cleaning ladies for rich people? You know, people that don’t look for coupon codes for everything they buy? Oh God, what would my family say? I did my best to hide from everyone that I had to pay someone to clean my house, cause that would mean I couldn’t do it all.
What ended up happening, I could have never have predicted. I found a wonderful gal who ended up being a referral of a referral. This wonderful woman performed a miracle. My home was exorcised of dust bunnies and yuckiness. I could actually see my floor you guys! The event went off without a hitch. I was ridiculously happy and now, I’m hooked. She’s scheduled to come back next week and every 10 days after. I still feel guilty and there is still that tiny voice in my head that is telling me I failed.
I have fallen victim to the illusion that to be a great mom, you have to be able to do it all. You know what? I can’t and that is OK. If I need to relax every evening, or order takeout, or even, have someone come in to clean my home… it’s OK. The bottom line is this, my job is to be present with my family… simply being there isn’t what matters. So for me to be present, I had to do a little outsourcing. Dear guilty, nagging voice in my head, I’m stuffing you way to the back of my head. Tonight, I’m popping some popcorn, ordering a movie and sitting on the couch with my family, those dust bunnies are calling someone else’s name and that is fine by me.
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