Last night I watched, with great interest, what was happening in Texas. What was on display there gave me a reason to look up who Wendy Davis is and why she planned on filibustering Senate Bill 5 and doing so until midnight when the clock would run out to vote on it. Twitter was ablaze last night with #StandWithWendy and #SB5 hashtags and, at least in my feed, overwhelming support for the women in Texas for whom she and other Senate members were fighting. It was a noble fight filled with the best kind of political drama I’ve ever seen as I watched the Livestream on the Texas Tribune website and with hundreds of thousands of other people monitoring this closely. What’s not surprising is that I came down on the side of Senator Davis in opposing the deliberately controversial bill.
The one thing giving me trouble was in trying to figure out what the GOP in Texas must be thinking in making such sweeping pronouncements about access to medical care and closing all but 5 abortion clinics in Texas. So I took it upon myself to consider that thinking and put myself in that exact, albeit broadly-sweeping, mindset.
Republicans live in an “have your cake and eat it, too” world of thinking that life begins with the hint of intercourse and then that life grows and matures into an eventual CEO of a prospering multinational enterprise.
The sad fact, if history has taught us anything, is that many of those lives they “saved” with their strict abortion laws will become statistics in the welfare system.
Wait, no they won’t! Because in this fantastical utopia that the GOP lives in, there IS no welfare system because everyone has a job with good benefits, can afford their taxes, owns their home and plays a round of golf every Thursday.
This paradise has no charter for single mothers, struggling families or people who find themselves guilty of human error. Crimes rarely happen and even when they do the victim was asking for it. probably due to the fact that their parents didn’t have the wherewithal to save the $100,000 to send them to college so they could better defend themselves.
This society is a well-armed, concealed-weapon-carrying nation of doctors lawyers and accountants who are natural born citizens. We’re a little unsure of who the blue-collar workers are in this great land we’ve created we just know that SOMEBODY fixes our gas-guzzling SUV’s brakes so that we can go through the Starbucks drive-thru where SOMEBODY serves us our frappacino before we go to our office where SOMEBODY answers the phone to schedule our next cocktail party that our stay-at-home wives are planning like good little wives.
Since they aren’t exactly like us these people doing all our grunt work don’t deserve any increases in their minimum wage to insure some modicum of an easy life. As a matter of fact, we wouldn’t even want them to have a voice in our universe so we were sure to make it as hard for them to vote as we could.
Now, before you start thinking this is paradisiacal, there are drawbacks to our perfect world: Country club membership soared to the point we have to schedule court times well over a week in advance; it is almost impossible to find a housekeeper; and good luck getting your third-story air conditioner fixed! Thank the Good Lord above for answering our prayers to send all the mom and pop businesses that miraculous cash infusion once in a while so they can employ these lesser individuals. After all, most of them are black or Hispanic anyway and probably never finished high school.
Oh, and speaking of schools, we are SO proud of our schools! Every child consistently makes the honor roll and we have shoe-string budgets since we were fortunate enough to hire the absolute best teachers and pay them so little. Most teachers, we found out, aspire only to enhancing our child’s future. They really don’t care about their own children going to college or making a fair wage or, well frankly, any of the things that would allow them to enjoy life. It also helped when we armed them with automatic weapons in case little Johnny doesn’t have a hall pass when he goes to the restroom. But, of course, our children are such splendid students they rarely have to fire a shot in anger.
We’re still working on the elderly problem. Apparently people when they get old need to go to the doctor more often. Now granted, these old folk are why we can drive that foreign-made sports car with the cutsie personal plate that reads “ICU MD” but there is a lot of animosity down at the club between the doctors and the insurance guys on Lobster Night.
Suffice it to say that once we were able to wrest control of the government away from the people who don’t think, act or look the way we do, it was rather easy to develop this sublime little cosmos.
Just in writing this I have come closer to understanding the GOP viewpoint. It helps to think like a sheep; believe every stereotype you’ve ever heard, assume you are better than everyone else, and know that misfortune and woe is only visited upon people at fault for something. Finally, to look out only for yourself. Forgo any compassion, understanding or empathy for those unlike you. Abide by the rules when they’re in your favor but be prepared to change them as needed. Treat those beneath your status with contempt while resting assured that the Almighty will allow you a complete understanding of what life is like sans silver spoon so that we may govern them correctly. All this while laughing the entire trip to the bank.
Now can SOMEBODY get me some cake?
Read more from Kelly at her personal blog, Mocha Momma Exposing & Eliminating Racism: The Paula Deen Edition
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