It's Almost PoeticAmy Corbett Storch
“Hmmm,” thought the universe. “Amy’s been writing a lot about the pros and cons of having all boys. Mostly the cons, because she is a brat. And then peppering in some stuff about the naive things you say and promise yourself you’ll never do before having kids. If only there were some way to wrap up this month in a nice, full-circle, narrative kind of fashion.”
I NEVER: Will have a child with head lice. I mean, gross.
“Ho-HO!” thought the universe again.
I NEVER: Had head lice as a child, so up until oh, seven and a half hours ago, I could not have told you what one is supposed to do about head lice. I knew there was some kind of…shampoo? And a comb? I think I remember watching my friend’s mom dipping a comb in a glass of water while combing through my friend’s brother’s hair and when I got home and told my mom about it she freaked out because SHE WAS DOING WHAT? TO WHO? OH MY GOD, SIT DOWN AND LET ME LOOK AT YOUR HEAD.
Hours, now, I have been combing. And scrubbing. And stripping beds and bagging up stuffed animals and all sorts of things that I have to admit, aren’t helping with the case of head-to-toe Phantom Hysteria Nits I have going on.
But. I can at least now add one more thing to the PRO list for having boys: SHORT HAIR. Oh dear lord, thank goodness for the short hair.
Thanks for the blog fodder, universe! Now GTFO.