How Can I Get Out of Hosting Another Birthday Party Ever Again?
If I’m being completely honest, and I am, one of my least favorite aspects of parenting is the whole birthday party thing.
My daughter turns five in May and has been planning her 5th birthday party since moments after 4th birthday party ended last May. For the past year she has planned elaborate and randomly themed soirees-a butterfly party! An Amy from Sonic the Hedgehog party! A pink SpongeBob party! A horse party! A pink horse with butterfly and SpongeBob tattoos party!
I’m in the initial planning stages of Ella’s birthday party and feeling incredibly overwhelmed. Birthday parties, with all the etiquette rules, time consuming preparations, and the prospect of having too many children in my home, hopped up on sugar, stresses me out.
In a perfect world, the type of party I’d like to host is one where we invite a few friends-all of whom RSVP-over for twenty minutes, serve some store-bought cake and ice cream, open presents, party done! Ella has different ideas, though. She wants pizza and party games. I have even tried to convince her to have a party at an over-priced venue that is equipped to entertain and feed multitudes of screaming children.
“Nope, Momma. I want to have my party at our house,” she adamantly told me.
Although she is still undecided on her theme, she already knows that she doesn’t want a store-bought cake. Nothing but the best for Ella, her expectations includes homemade buttercream icing. On one hand, I’m proud that my daughter knows the difference between delicious and store-bought, but homemade means time-lots of time that I don’t really have.
Birthday parties are supposed to be for the kid, but it’s other parents that have also made me dread hosting parties. We all know what they say about opinions, everybody has one about birthday parties. I just recently learned that some people feel that opening birthday presents at the party is a no-no. WHAT?! I always opened presents at my birthday parties and every party my children have every attended have included birthday present opening, so this apparent new trend is unsettling.
Other birthday party issues:
1. Treat bags filled with plastic junk and candy, yes or no?
2. The guest list. Who can we invite without hurting anyone’s feelings, but also avoid inviting 243 children just to make everyone happy.
3. The lack of RSVPs that will be received. This should be a non-issue, but alas, people seem to lack common courtesy to RSVP anymore.
4. Teaching my daughter to be gracious and at least act like she loves every present.
Do you have any suggestions for easy, stress-free birthday parties? Or I am asking the impossible?
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We hosted 1st and 2nd birthdays at home, but after that we pretty much took it to a venue. It’s just easier! Personally, I don’t want parents, plus all the kids all over the house…and it makes for easier clean up :). When we did the parties at home we kept it simple…short guest list, finger foods, and a couple of games. Nothing too fancy.
I think the not opening presents is due to #4 on your list. :) I always did presents at my parties too, but after my daughter’s 5th birthday when after every present she screamed out to the entire room just what she thought of it and then would scream NEXT, I can see why people choose not to. She just turned 10 and we are having a slumber party/spa party this Friday. I may go crazy, but she is so excited! My son turned 5 in March and we had a very casual hour and a half party at our house. We played in the backyard, had a pinata, ate cupcakes and opened presents. Went very well. I did the treat bags for him, but apparently they are not cool at age 10! :)
My twins turn 7 next month and I totally agree with you on this…completely dread it. The last party we did was at age 5 and it all went well, the kids had fun, so I shouldn’t complain, but…there is just so much pressure on the mom for everything to go right. One thing that we do is have a party every other year…we do a family weekend the other and go on a short trip.
My “rule” for birthday parties (which I learned from a friend) is that the child invites as many friends as she is years old. It works SO WELL. And most of the moms whose kids came to my daughter’s party have copied the idea. With only 5 kids in my house we could do more fun crafts, play outside, and mostly avoid birthday party chaos. There were fewer presents to contend with and more fun and meaningful items to take home.
Sarah, that’s a GREAT idea…just not sure how to cut it down to just five kids!!
I am biased. I LOVE planning the parties. I do have a few tips to make it less stressful for you. I always keep it at 12 or less, because that’s what party favors come in (you can even get premade goody bags). Then you’re prepared even if people cancel and it still is a big party for the kids. A box cake mix is quick and easy and you can personalize it to your party. Get toys (or sterilize ones she already has that go with the themes) to put on top and instant cake that isn’t store bought! That takes care of invites, goody bags, and cake. Depending on the kids/type of party you can buy a veggie tray for snacking or chips and dip etc. Easy BBQ type snacks. Entertainment can vary dramatically. I usually have atleast one thing for kids to do while they wait for everyone to arrive (i.e. this year my son is having a witch/wizard theme party and they’ll have witch hats to decorate while they wait). Oftentimes you don’t even have to have organzied games or activities, just let the kids run around. Pinatas are always fun and realitively easy (get the pulle string kind if you’re worried about someone getting hit or not being able to do it). The biggest thing to remember, it’s a kids party. Things are going to go wrong, drinks will be spilled, someone’s feelings will probably be hurt and someone might even declare “i already have one of these!!!” In the end, all the kids will be happy and that’s what matters. You can’t let yourself worry about other parents. They worry just as much as you when it’s their turn.
PS. Don’t forget, you can always ask other parents to pitch in if you’re struggling during a party. They’re usually ready and willing, atleast one of them. I’m a single parent and those parents have always been helpful for me!