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Does wrestling with his dad count as improving his "gross motor skills?"

My Son Sucks at Sports and I’m Trying to Care

I fear that I won’t relate to my son. Like, what will I do if he gets brainwashed by Scientologists? What if he registers as a Republican? Or, God forbid, he’s a jock? Luckily, I just found out that last one is not going to happen. Laszlo just finished his first month at his new MORE »

10 Comments

"I'm not Jewish!"

Losing My Religion

Last year, we sent Laszlo to a Jewish preschool. He learned how to count by looking at pictures of loaves of challah. He sang a songs about how “there’s a dinosaur/ knocking on my door/ and he wants to have Shabbat with me.” When we lit Hannukah candles at home, he broke out into a MORE »

I will break you

Should You Let Kids Fight It Out?

My friend asked what seemed to be a reasonable question, one that dads have asked forever: When do you step in and break up two little kids fighting on the playground? Dads turn to me for this kind of advice all the time. I told my friend that the tough dad lets kids work out MORE »

This is not a kid who just runs out into the middle of the street. He's a clinger.

I Have a Helicopter Kid

If you see me at the playground, you’ll see that my 3-year-old son, Laszlo, is almost always within a few feet of me. I often hold his hand as he goes down the slide. He plays with me more than he plays with the other kids. I even climb to the top of playground equipment MORE »

1 Comment

Imaginary friends rarely show up at dessert time

All the Imaginary People, Where Do They All Come From?

My three-year-old son will not tell me anything about his imaginary friends. I’m concerned that they’re not a good influence. Months will pass without any mention of them. Then one day I’ll ask Laszlo who he’s talking to and he’ll say, “Oh” – as in, “Oh, I’m glad you asked.” Then: “Gockies and jockies.” As MORE »

Laszlo practicing his academic look

No More Long Goodbyes

At the preschool where Laszlo went last year, many kids were still crying about separating from their parents for weeks after the first day. Some were still crying after months. This year, he’s going to a new preschool. It started last week, but we were on vacation. NONE of the kids were crying (after only MORE »

4 Comments

Going to Disneyland? CRETTR™ multiplier = 10.

Ending the Most Common Parent Fight

I’d rather see my parents have sex than hear them argue about who is doing more work by watching me. That’s partly because my parents are divorced and could cut my visits in half if they were together. But it’s also because the subtext of that fight isn’t just that hanging out with your child MORE »

3 Comments

cuddle

My Son Thinks He’s My Romantic Boyfriend

I was trying on clothes to wear to a BBQ that would also work for the book reading that Joel was giving that evening. Laszlo was watching me get dressed and undressed and said, “I like your boo-boos.” “My boo-boos?” I asked, worried that I had bruises on my legs or other atrocities that might MORE »

19 Comments

IWGuidecover

The Science of Getting Knocked Up

Everything about me is all man, including my sperm. So I was surprised when, after a year of trying to get my lovely wife Cassandra pregnant, and it wasn’t happening. I tried everything: having sex slowly, having sex fast, having sex while thinking about her. None of it worked. Then we started talking to friends MORE »

2 Comments

Cat fight! Yes, I was lazy about finding an image for this post. Plus, I thought cute kittens might draw you in. Sucker.

Bring on the Mommy Wars

There are no “mommy wars.” There are just moms with different parenting techniques and then there are moms who who like to get upset about it because they’re offended by it. The phrase is used by moms who love being defensive and angry. Anybody who says anything specific about a particular parenting style is accused MORE »

3 Comments