John Cave Osborne is a writer whose work has appeared on such sites as Babble, TLC, YahooShine, and the Huffington Post. He was also referenced by Jezebel one time, but he’s pretty sure they were making fun of him. While he’s name dropping, it’s only fair to point out that Ashton Kutcher tweeted one of John’s YouTube videos, but it may have only been because Ashton felt sorry for him. After all, John went from carefree bachelor to father of four in just 13 months thanks to marrying a single mom, then quickly conceived triplets. Since then, he and his wife have added one more to the mix, a little boy they named Grand Finale. They all live chaotically in Knoxville, TN with Briggs the dog.
My daughter recently attended a party at Chuck E. Cheese, and during that party, I came to grips with something: I loathe Chuck E. Cheese with a white hot and eternal hatred. Why? Because of the transformation virtually every child undergoes while there. It’s unbearable.
Like many of you, I’ve witnessed this transformation time and time again. Only this last time, instead of turning away as I am wont to do, I examined the metamorphosis as closely as possible in hopes that I might at least better understand it. And in so doing, I’ve identified seven different phases that occur during a typical visit. Here they are in chronological order:
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The dipping of the toe
Hesitancy accompanies most children when they first set foot on the Chuck E Cheese game floor. Which should come as no surprise, as during these initial moments they're desperately trying to find their niche within this exciting, new world. Accordingly, many transcendental issues must be carefully considered. Am I a skee-baller? Or am I better suited at whacking the hell out of those moles that keep popping up?Photo Credit
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