Keep On Doing it: And Other Tips On Marriage


After how many years of doing one particular thing can you call yourself an expert? Five years? Maybe ten? How about thirty?  Well, I’ve been married for 9 years. No days off. No sabbatical to a cabin in the woods to consider my research. Nope. Just full on, every day. Married. And being that married requires an enormous amount of intense questioning and follow-up analysis from both parties involved. Questions such as, “Any chance you did the laundry?” and the even more complex, “Can you pick up toilet paper on your way home from work?”

And further analysis and/or statements such as: “I am out of clean socks.” And, “I can’t believe you forgot the toilet paper.”

It can’t always be sexy good times. Even Ice T and Coco must turn to each other on some nights and say “Do you just want to go to bed and read books?” Okay, bad example. That scenario is doubtful.

Back to toilet paper. There is nothing sexy about it. And sometimes being married just means working together to convince your toddler that lettuce isn’t coated with burning acid or perhaps tag-teaming on encouraging potty time talk with your children:

“Did you go poo? Go poo poos? No? No poo? Why no poo?”

Hand-slap trade-off:

“Time for poo? Let’s go poo. Good job on the poo!”

If you could solidify a marriage on poo alone I’d be renewing my vows every second week.

But at least I know this: I believe in marriage, in being intensely loyal, in having someone’s back and knowing that someone has mine. And in being vulnerable beyond human comprehension with one single person: my husband.

I also believe in marrying someone who can make a good smoothie. Balanced nutrition is severely underrated.

In addition, I gain perspective from the wisdom of other married folk. Like these ones below:

xo Allana

p.s. Go Marriage!

  • Ssshhhhh … 1 of 17
    Ssshhhhh ...
    "Silence is a very good tool. I wish I had used it sooner in my life." - Margaret, married 45 years
  • Just Do It 2 of 17
    Just Do It
    "I have learned to never give up. I think all marriages go through rough patches and sometimes it's just easier to give up. I think, however, if you reevaluate what's going on and why you married this person in the first place, you can get through anything. That and have sex at least twice a week. Even if you're tired." - Dawn, married 17 years
  • Step One 3 of 17
    Step One
    "Don't be a jerk." (Applies to all other relationships/situations as well) - Suzanne, married 7 years
  • Know Thy Partner 4 of 17
    Know Thy Partner
    "Know who you are married to. I think about this a lot. I'm married to man who loves to drive a motorcycle. If I really didn't want to be married to someone who drives a motorcycle, then I shouldn't have married someone who loves to drive one." - Allana, married 9 years
  • True Love 5 of 17
    True Love
    "When asked why my grandfather still visits my grandmother every day in the nursing home when she has Alzheimer's and does not remember him he replied, 'But I remember her and all the days she was there for me.'" - Lisa, via her Grandfather who has been married 70 years
  • Be The Best Of You 6 of 17
    Be The Best Of You
    "Don't marry someone who makes you a smaller person. Who makes your voice more quiet. Who makes you shrink. Who always want to walk just two steps ahead." - Sam, married 10 years
  • Keeping Track? 7 of 17
    Keeping Track?
    "Marriage is NEVER 50/50. Maybe 70/30 or sometimes 90/10, but never 50/50. It's that shifting of priorities that make a couple stronger as a couple." - Dawn B, married 7 years
  • Nerds Are Hot 8 of 17
    Nerds Are Hot
    "Marry a nerd." - Kristen, married 13 years
  • Because Everything Can’t Be About Poop 9 of 17
    Because Everything Can't Be About Poop
    "Do not, under any circumstances, poop with your spouse in the room." - Siobhan, married 10 years
  • Leaving Your Ego At The Door 10 of 17
    Leaving Your Ego At The Door
    "When you find yourself drifting apart, face it, and find again what brought you together in the first place. Also, sometimes you have to put aside your pride and believe in your family." - Laura, married 15 years
  • Give More 11 of 17
    Give More
    "You get what you give. When you give better, you get better." - Lisa, married 14 years
  • Grow 12 of 17
    "You have to see marriage as a place of growth. Love always has to be moving forward or it moves backwards." - Larry, Marriage Therapist, 81 years of age and still rocking it
  • Resist, Resist, Resist 13 of 17
    Resist, Resist, Resist
    "The secret to a happy marriage is NOT delivering the perfect zinger. We know each other well enough that we know exactly how to cut each other down — resisting that temptation when you're angry goes a long way." - Elizabeth, married 8 years
  • Love Is Equal 14 of 17
    Love Is Equal
    "For me the best piece of advice is to marry a woman... Together now for 24 years and finally married for 7 months thanks to New York's progressive legislature :-)" - Nadine, married 7 months
  • Sleep It Off 15 of 17
    Sleep It Off
    "Go to bed mad. If we didn't do this, we'd be arguing all night! We're both too stubborn. But when we wake up the next day we've both calmed down and can laugh about it. Been together for 6 years, married for 3 (and popped out 3 kids in 5 years so obviously we don't stay mad for long)." - Leah, married for 3 years
  • Fair Enough 16 of 17
    Fair Enough
    "When the other person is driving, shut the f*** up!" - Lara, married 18 years
  • Oh Yeah… 17 of 17
    Oh Yeah...
    "Keep on doing it." - Barry White (Like right now...if you can)

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Check out previous posts from EOTS:

There Will Be Blood

What Moms Should Never Have To Put Up With: The Worst Relationship Ever

Dear Children: ummm….Sorry?

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Article Posted 4 years Ago
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