Now that Eddie Murphy‘s bowed out of the hosting gig — and I’m kind of not sure why he followed Brett Ratner out the door, but I’m going to assume that the experience of making Tower Heist together created a life-altering bond between the two — who’s going to host the Oscars?
Or rather, who are we going to live Tweet to death on Oscar night?
1. Bring back Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin. They seem to have genuine chemistry, they know how to make light of the event without being dicks, they look good in tuxes, and their jokes are actually funny. Give them a couple of costume changes and don’t expect them to sing and we’ll be out of the Kodak Theater in less than three hours.
2. Jon Stewart and John Hodgman. The double whammy of smart, funny, and devastatingly . . . impish. What could be better than an Oscar night fueled by political satire and obscure 20th-century trivia? Both men are beloved of gentiles and Jews; college students and their cranky parents; men, women, and above-average children alike.
3. Chris Rock and Louis CK. Same if not more chemistry than Baldwin and Martin, with the added possibility of ad-lib mayhem. Rock is a total pro, and I bet Louis cleans up real nice if he tries. The prefect combination of brains, heart, and despair — perfect for consoling the non-winners at the after parties.
4. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. They’re number four on my list but number one in my heart. Potentially the most judgmental Oscars night ever, interspersed with wigs, impressions, hugs, and snickering.
5. Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin. Fire and ice!
6. Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway. I do not invite comparisons between James Franco and the handsomest man in the world, I’m just saying that both Wolverine and Little Red are smart, funny, the camera loves them, and they can perform those ridiculous Oscars musical numbers with (most of) their dignity intact.
8. Rob Delaney. He could host the whole thing from his Twitter stream. It would be the filthiest Oscar night ever.
9. Meryl Streep, Morgan Freeman, and the ghosts of Bernie Mac and Phil Hartman. Right? Am I right?
TELL ME WHO YOU THINK SHOULD HOST THE OSCARS, I NEED MORE IDEAS TO LOVE.