True story: Like many of the lower species, the kid has figured out how to take pictures with my iPhone. This has resulted in a bizarre array of very unflattering shots of my midsection and rear, the insides of his own nose, and what’s under the couch. But the worst, the absolute worst was the one Z got a few weeks ago, when I first woke up.
You know that thing where you go about your day pretending you are really the lead singer of Metric and actually look fine for your age and if that creep who was a creep in high school could see you now, he’d roil in his own inadequacy? Yeah, well, fantasy over. I haven’t slept well in 3 years, which means that my face upon waking looks the result of a hot night between a tennis shoe and a durian.
So I did what any other rational person would do–I asked other moms to send me pictures of what they look like when they wake up. You know, to make myself feel better at their expense. And then the funniest thing happened, because I did feel better, and not because any of these ladies look nearly as scary as I do but because, well, I’m not alone in this. There’s a whole army of sleepless mamas out here, and while that sounds like the bad beginning of a zombie movie, it’s actually just what life looks like these days for a lot of us. So here it is, for all you parents catching strange glimpses of yourself in mirrors and feeling the lonesome shame of your tired face: You’re not alone! You’re just getting it done. And we’re all getting it done with you.
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