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Mom Fails Women Refuse To Feel Guilty About

I let my kids watch TV for hours on end on Sunday mornings, just so I can do things like actually take a shower without someone banging on the bathroom door. My husband usually goes to the gym. The TV thing is surely not doing much for our children’s brains, given that their favorite programs are Good Luck Charlie and iCarly. But I refuse to feel guilty about this.

I’m a working mom of two kids, one with special needs. I also blog, manage our household, blah, blah, blah. Some days, getting dressed is the only me-time I have (and some days, I have a kid watching me put on my bra). Using the TV as a babysitter on weekends is pure self-preservation. I’m a better mom because I get those precious few hours to myself.

Like many mothers, I have parenting things I feel guilty about, including school trips I can’t go on because I’m working or those times when I space out on stuff like buying the poster board my daughter needed for a class project and now it’s Sunday night and OMG I’m just going to have to tape together construction paper and pretend that is just as good.

But there are also plenty of so-called fails that I refuse to feel badly about, too. And I am so not alone here, as I discovered when I asked around.

Phew.

Image source: Veer


  • No-guilt mom fail: I’m a Valentine’s Day slacker 1 of 8
    No-guilt mom fail: I'm a Valentine's Day slacker
    "This will be my fourth year of having a child in elementary school. As Valentine's Day fast approaches, I am completely secure in knowing that my girls will not carry in sequin- festooned bags of homemade cookies, nor will they deliver monogrammed pencils for every classmate. They might bring a box of character cards in or they might have still-wet-with-glue construction paper cards. I'm all for a good competition, but if it's for fanciest and most extravagant Valentine's Day goodies, I'm happy to sit it out."

    —Amanda Magee of The Wink

    Photo credit: Veer
  • No-guilt mom fail: I refuse to be a school volunteer 2 of 8
    No-guilt mom fail: I refuse to be a school volunteer
    "My daughter's school sends home an email at least twice a month asking for someone to break down the book fair, bring a dish for a lunch or come to the classroom for a holiday party. I love my kid's school, but honestly, I send her there so she gets to spend time with people besides me! I try to help out at least once a year to save face, but honestly, what era do these people think it is? Moms are working during school hours, yo. If that's a mom fail, it's one I embrace with a feminist fist-bump!"

    — Amy Hatch of Chicken And Cheese

    Photo credit: Veer
  • No-guilt mom fail: I let my kid skip homework 3 of 8
    No-guilt mom fail: I let my kid skip homework
    "One of my kids is supposed to practice multiplication and division flashcards 10 minutes a day, five nights a week. My son knows these flashcards backwards and forwards. He knows his multiplication and division better than I know my multiplication and division. I have very happily marked down that he has done his practice on nights when he hasn't. I don't feel guilty because of all the things that my kiddo has trouble with, this ain't one of them. I don't ever do his homework for him and he works really hard so I figure letting this slide a couple days a week really isn't so bad."

    — Jean Winegardner of Stimeyland

    Photo credit: Amazon
  • No-guilt mom fail: I don’t do birthday parties 4 of 8
    No-guilt mom fail: I don't do birthday parties
    "I've never thrown my kid an actual birthday party and I don't feel the least bit guilty. Her birthday is 11 days before Christmas and i don't think it's fair to other parents to have to fit a birthday party into their holiday schedule, nor is it good for my own sanity. Don't get me wrong, I still make her birthdays outrageously special, but without the goodie bags and houseful of strange kids."

    —Casey Mullins of Moosh in Indy

    Photo credit: flickr/D. Sharon Pruitt
  • No-guilt mom fail: I don’t pack veggies in the kids’ lunches 5 of 8
    No-guilt mom fail: I don't pack veggies in the kids' lunches
    "I do not put fresh fruit or veggies in my kids' school lunches. They prefer it straight from the fridge or fruit bowl, so I figure the balanced eating will even out at home and in time."

    — Asha Dorfest of Parent Hacks

    Photo credit: Veer
  • No-guilt mom fail: I escape when the kids are cranky (or I am) 6 of 8
    No-guilt mom fail: I escape when the kids are cranky (or I am)
    "When my kids were little, if we got home and we were all starving and cranky, I would dump them in the living room to yell for a few minutes while I went into the kitchen, got myself a drink, shoved a few crackers in my mouth, and took a moment to breathe. It was just easier to deal with them if I took a few minutes to get myself together first. My kids are older now, but I'm the same. If I'm tired, I take a nap, I don't care what the kids are doing. If I get some sleep, I'll enjoy them more when I wake up."

    —Amy Oztan of Selfish Mom

    Photo credit: flickr/Hades2k
  • No-guilt mom fail: I let the kids totally slack during summer 7 of 8
    No-guilt mom fail: I let the kids totally slack during summer
    "Every summer, my school-aged children are told to visit math websites and do umpteen 'suggested' worksheets in order to keep their minds sharp over the summer. We ignore it all. I think summertime is all about a break from school; that's the point. So far my kids haven't been at all behind come September, although I accept that one of these years, back-to-school may be an unpleasant surprise. I hope not. But for now, I'm willing to take that risk, and enjoy lazy summer afternoons with my kids without having to harangue about homework even once."

    —Amy Wilson of When Did I Get Like This?

    Photo credit: Thinkstock
  • No-guilt mom fail: I could care less how neat the house is 8 of 8
    No-guilt mom fail: I could care less how neat the house is
    "I always think of a line in Bob Goff's book Love Does as I fall discouragingly behind with unloading the dishwasher, getting the clothes out of the dryer on time or running low on keeping the toilets clean in a household of four men. He says, 'I'd rather fail at something that matters than succeed at something that doesn't." Yes, it's important to keep your house clean and orderly—something I fail at weekly. BUT at holding my children in hugs for as long as they let me, or taking them outside to bury them in snowballs even though dinner is half an hour behind schedule, that, I have succeeded at."

    —Alexandra Schultze of Good Day, Regular People

    Photo credit: Thinkstock

Read more from Ellen at Love That Max

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More to read from 1000 Perplexing Things About Parenthood:

• 12 Ways Social Media Has Transformed Motherhood

• The We-Do-More-Than-Our-Husbands Blues: Are We Partly To Blame?

• Parenting Lessons From Mickey Mouse, Goofy and Snow White

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