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Mommy Humble Brags: Are You Guilty?

 

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Motherhood. Sometimes talking with other moms can be a transcendent, fulfilling experience. A chance to share that connective fiber which brings women together. But other times, a conversation with another mom can be a festering cesspool of competition.

I was recently at Target when I ran into a mom I hadn’t seen in at least five years. I immediately remembered why we hadn’t kept in touch. Within the first two minutes of conversation she complained that she was barely sleeping nights since she’d found out her son had been accepted into two different private schools and she couldn’t figure out which one to pick. Apparently this was a terrible dilemma since as she put it, “They are both dying to have him and I hate to burn a bridge at either place!” I know, right? Who would want to have her problems?

As I walked away I realized that this had been the epitome of a Humble Brag, or as author Harris Wittels refers to it in his book: The art of false modesty. The person who’s been humble bragged usually feels slightly knocked down a peg which makes the humble braggart feel slightly more consequential.

And that’s when I realized that mommy gatherings are usually chock full of humble brags! I feel like I’ve heard them all but here are a few of my favorites. And just know that the pictures have little to do with the brag. Unfortunately, most of my photos are of my beautiful children so it was tough to find something that worked. #HUMBLEBRAG

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  • Shut up! 1 of 9
    Shut up!
    "My baby is already 4 months old and I'm still 5 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight! "
  • Really? 2 of 9
    Really?
    "I have so much respect for women who have to do everything I do without full time help!"
  • No you aren’t. 3 of 9
    No you aren't.
    "I could never do sleep training. I'm just too sensitive."
  • It’s hard to be you! 4 of 9
    It's hard to be you!
    "I have so little time for myself because I volunteer so much at my kids' school! I've really got to learn to say no!"
  • Special! 5 of 9
    Special!
    "It's so hard to have a gifted child. I constantly have to come up with ways to challenge him!"
  • Just LA? 6 of 9
    Just LA?
    "It's such a huge pain to drag my kid around to all of these commercial auditions but every time I'm about to stop she books something!"
  • You don’t say! 7 of 9
    You don't say!
    "When I'm with my kids people always ask if I'm their babysitter! Looking this young is such a curse!"
  • Come on! 8 of 9
    Come on!
    "My kid is doing such advanced math I can't even help him with his homework."
  • Now you’re lying. 9 of 9
    Now you're lying.
    "My kids just don't like to watch TV. Really! I wish they would so I could get a break from playing with them! "

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