Hey guys…James here. I’m ten months old, and I thought it was about time for me to write my first blog post. There are so many things I’ve been dying to talk about, but the most pressing thing on my mind is food. Specifically, how amazing food is.
I know if you’re reading this you’re thinking, “But James, you’re a baby, what do you know about food?” Plenty, my friends. Plenty. I probably appreciate food more than any of you people out there because for the first five months of my life, I was on a liquid diet. LI-QUID. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT’S LIKE? It’s boring. Tasteless. Some babies like knowing what to expect, but not me. I wanted some variety.
It was a dream when my mom started giving me solids. I felt like my entire world was changing! Rice cereal was pretty bland but it was still better than liquids — and much more filling! But I couldn’t believe it when my lips closed around a spoonful of peas. That stuff is delicious! And don’t even get me started on pears. Party in my mouth!
A few weeks ago, my mom started feeding me yogurt. My older sister Annie had a ton of questions (but really, when doesn’t Annie have a ton of questions) because she couldn’t believe I was eating yogurt just like her. I only half-listened at first, because I was WAY too focused on the amazing stuff going into my mouth.
Yogurt tastes like what I imagine ice cream tastes like, but better because it isn’t freezing! I heard my mom tell Annie that yogurt also help me gain weight, which I’m excited about because people already squeal over my chubby thighs. The part my mom says she likes the most about yogurt is that it will help me poop less! I’m happy about this because it means my sister won’t be able to call me “Stinky” so much.
In conclusion, for my first birthday, please send me yogurt. Although, I’m intrigued by this “cake” thing everyone is talking about…