Movie Night with a Three Generation Family, brought to you by Dish

Typical Saturday night at my house:

Me: “Hey everyone! Why don’t we watch an on-demand movie tonight?”

My mother, who lives with us: “Sure! That’d be great!”

My husband: “…..”

My daughter, six: “Will there be popcorn?”

My mother: “We need a air popper!”

Me: “But we have fat free microwave popcorn! Do they even make air poppers anymore?”

My Mother: “I don’t like that stuff.”

My daughter: “So no popcorn?” (begins crying inconsolably)

Me: “NO! NO! WE CAN MAKE POPCORN!”

My daughter: “Can we make it from scratch?”

My husband: “…..”

My mother: “Oooh, that would be nice, but it adds a lot of fat to the popcorn.”

Me: (sighing) “Can’t we just nuke a couple bags of popcorn?”

My daughter: (insert more theatrical sobbing)

My mother: “Oh, FINE. But I don’t like it.”

My husband: “…..”

Me: “Okay, now let’s pick a movie.”

My daughter: “A kid’s movie?”

My mother: “Why do we always have to pick movies SHE likes?”

My daughter: (more sobs)

Me: “How about a live-action ‘family’ movie?”

My mother and my daughter: “Okay!”

Me: (Going to kitchen to make popcorn) “Okay, here’s everyone’s popcorn!”

My daughter: “I want a bowl!”

Me: “No, no, let’s not make dishes and just use the bag, okay?”

My daughter: (lower lip trembles)

Me: (sighing) “…..”

My mom: (eats all her popcorn at lightening speed) “This is not as good as air popped.”

Me: (starting the movie) “…..”

My husband: (falls asleep and begins snoring so loudly that we can no longer hear the movie).

…and, SCENE.

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