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Shannon Carroll was the blogger behind Whiskey In My Sippy Cup, a critically acclaimed blog about nothing in particular. She currently writes on her new blog, Shannonigans, and is the Conference Programming Manager at BlogHer.com. She is the mother of a teenaged son, a tween boy and an elementary-aged daughter. She was previously a Babble Voices contributor.

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Not As I Do

By Mr Lady |

Image credit: Creative CommonsMy sons are in their game room while I cook dinner, playing some bang!-bang!-shoot!-shoot! game on the XBox Live. I listen to my middle son ramp up, the way he always does when he looses plays games, first with a moan, then with a whine, followed by a few pre-pubescent girly-shreiks, then with a stream of half-baked expletives.

Except, this time, they weren’t half baked.

The first time, I thought I’d misheard the “what the h@##”  but the second and third time, I couldn’t deny it. My 11 year old was no more than 20 feet away from me, shouting swear words like he owned the joint.

Oh no he f@#*ing di-int

If you’ve every read my mom blog or my twitter stream, you’ll know that I am not afraid of a good, old-fashioned, all-American curse word. The same goes for my real life, perhaps to (an admitted) fault. I *like* cursing. It feels good. I get that. Still doesn’t mean I am evereverEVER going to permit my children to use that kind of language.

Hypocritical? I’d argue not. Being a kid means you just don’t get to do certain things, like drinking or smoking or driving or renting R-rated movies or having sex or saying curse words under my roof. I’ve set 18 as the swear-word age limit in our house, mostly because once you have to pay taxes, you will finally have a reason to curse. I, personally, was 18 years old the first time a four letter word crossed my lips and though I’m not delusional enough to think they’ll actually hold out that long, I expect my children to respect my home enough to speak with a shred of decency when they are in it.

So I turned the bang!-bang!-shoot!-shoot! game off and reminded my 11 year old that he is, in fact, only 11 and 11-year-olds sound ridiculous when bad words cross their mouths. I pointed out that he is not even *close* to unintelligent but cautioned that privileges like bang!-bang!-shoot!-shoot! games require a level of maturity which screaming curse words at the tv doesn’t come close to displaying. Then I sent him off to write 15 acceptable, practical and smart substitutions for every iteration of ‘what the ___’, some of which were clever enough that I might even start using them.

And if that doesn’t work, I have a bar of soap and I am so not afraid to use it.

Image: Creative Commons

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About Mr Lady

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Mr Lady

Shannon Carroll was the blogger behind Whiskey In My Sippy Cup, a critically acclaimed blog about nothing in particular. She currently writes on her new blog, Shannonigans, and is the Conference Programming Manager at BlogHer.com. She is the mother of a teenaged son, a tween boy and an elementary-aged daughter. She was previously a Babble Voices contributor. Read bio and latest posts → Read Mr Lady's latest posts →

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7 thoughts on “Not As I Do

  1. highlyirritable says:

    I’d pay $7.50 for that list.

    *Canadian.*

  2. Mr Lady says:

    @highlyirritable, that could probably be arranged. :)

  3. daniel says:

    My question was what game was your 11 year old playing, and what was it rated?

  4. Mr Lady says:

    @dan, it was call of duty shut up.

  5. BusyDad says:

    We have a swear jar at home, and everyone is held to the same standard. It filled up quickly. I originally thought all that money could be spent on beer or steaks, but then Lisa told me it had to be donated to the school (to which we ALREADY pay $1000 a month). I doubled dollars in there over the next 10 seconds.

  6. Mr Lady says:

    @Jim, I had a swear jar once, too, but I also had a secret nicotine habit. When i really needed a cigarette, I just swore a lot about it.

  7. Amber says:

    Fantastic! So, I’m not the only one. My 2 year olds current favorite word is “hooker”. She makes me so proud.

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