It started slowly at first. My kindergartner shrugged off my hugs at school with a cute “not now!” Then as he began to assert his independence a little more, I was forbidden from hugging him in front of his friends. Then that gradually turned into no hugging at school, which manifested into no kissing on school premises (even outside the school gates). Now we’re at no physical contact whatsoever on or near school grounds.
I’m an affectionate person. My heart hurts when my baby deems himself too cool for school. I try to show him that hugging never goes out of style and make a point of hugging my friends in front of him. So far, all of my efforts have been fruitless.
The other day he was playing tag with his buddies after school and he fell down. All I saw was my little guy careening onto the asphalt. I shouted “what’s wrong?” and ran up to him with all of his friends following me. He quickly got up and ran away…FROM ME. When I found him, he told me that he ran away from me because “you’re embarrassing me.” Wow. Shot to the heart. I remember feeling that way about my parents but that was probably when I was in high school, not Kindergarten. And besides, they earned it. But me? I am the anti-Mom kinda Mom. I don’t own mom jeans, I rock Vans even to the fanciest of occasions, and I know the lyrics to every Macklemore song.
My kid could care less. He has a reputation to maintain and he certainly doesn’t want to be a Mama’s Boy. I’m not going to lie here. I don’t want him to be one either. But a freakin hug after a long day of Kindergarten? Is that really too much to ask? I did birth the dude after all.
I’ll let you in on a little secret here. One that he will just kill me for exposing. When we’re at home, my little dude is a cuddle freak. He hugs me without any prompting whatsoever. That gives me hope, however fleeting.
Someone once told me that because I’ve only got male offspring, one day they will leave me for their wives. When I call one of them on the phone in the not too distant future, his wife will grumble “honey, it’s your mommmmm” and then proceed to roll her eyes. But you know what? I’m not worried. All I can do is raise them right and hope that there’s enough love to go around.
There will be enough love…won’t there?