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No One Likes A Bragger

I wanna talk about something that’s been bothering me for a really long time.

It’s this:

Why for the love of God, WHY?

I don’t get it. Someone please explain this to me.

I love people. I really do. I love America and I love my fellow man and I love driving on the highways of America with my fellow man, but I hate (HATE!) seeing this on the back of your mini van/car/winnebago.

Look. I’m happy for you. Truly.

I’m happy that you are a family made up of a mom and dad and two girls and baby boy and a dog and a cat that wears glasses. But I don’t need to know this. What business of mine is it anyway? I care. I really do. Sorta. But only to the extent that I’m glad you’re not dead. Past that? I DON’T CARE.

Now if you’re reading this and currently host these family stickers on the back of your vehicle:

A. Again, I’m sorry.  I’m not trying to pick on you personally or single you out. I’m sure you’re made entirely of awesome golden fleshy bits.

B. Put down your laptop and GO REMOVE THESE STICKERS IMMEDIATELY.

Seriously. I only say this because I love you. But I hate staring at the back of your car and learning your family tree while I’m behind you in carpool line.

It’s like you’re bragging. And no one likes a bragger.

 

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