When I was a kid, I used to taunt my siblings, “Mom and Dad HAD to have you, they CHOSE me!”
Yeah. It started way back then.
But as an adopted youngest child with two older sibling who were my parent’s natural-born children I didn’t struggle the way a lot of adopted children do.
There are definitely some differences in the way I deal with my adoption and how it was presented.
Maybe you have an adopted child, maybe you ARE an adopted child, maybe your life is somehow impacted by an adopted child....MAYBE YOU LIKE PIE!…this doesn’t apply to everyone or every case, but it was mine and a few of the other adopted kids I knew.
- I knew my parent could have other kids – I never had the feeling that adopted kids have talked about. The feeling of being “THE LAST OPTION”. It made them feel as if they weren’t necessarily wanted but since their parents were unable to have a baby of their own this one would suffice.
- Because my parents were Caucasian and I was Korean there was no FINDING OUT - for some kids to learn that the very basis of what they had believed about the two people closest to them WAS A LIE…..it was crushing.
- I never fit – Now, it was hard in my teen years but it is for everyone. I was a prime example of the argument for Nature vs Nurture. Growing up in the conservative, Midwestern, small-town environment didn’t mold me into anything that fit in personality-wise as well as aesthetically. It seemed appropriate.
- I always had the sense of humor that my family didn’t quite know what to do with - when *I* wanted a candy-bar that my mother wouldn’t get me I’d start yelling “I want my REAL mommy!! HELP me!!!”
Oh yeah. I deserved a beating.
Sometimes I call my mom JUST to apologize.