Last week students in Michigan designed a satirical poster about grind dancing and published it in their high school newspaper. The Traverse City school has always had a liberal berth for freedom of expression, but the parental outcry over this particular subject was thunderous, nearly causing the dismissal of at least one teacher.
Two days later my own 16-year-old daughter attended a freshman/sophomore school dance which goes by a name so ridiculous it has a built-in lateral lisp: Frosh.
And at this Frosh, grinding played a key role in that some kids were doing it, while others were hiding from the dance floor lest they be expected to do it. In fact, many districts have banned this style of dancing, which has infiltrated even middle schools.
In case you live under a rock, and that rock is located nowhere near a disco, I will explain this dance in a way that doesn’t put this blog post at the top of every Google search for private parts:
Grind Dancing is when one partner stands behind the other, or they face each other, and together their _____ rotate in tandem. Often one partner will put her hands on her _____ and move her_____ up and down. The other partner can place his _____ near her _____ while moving his ______ between her _____.
I hope that clears things up! If not, click through the following How To Grind tutorial courtesy of photos I took of a Howcast:
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TweetBoogie 1 of 6Meet our Grinding teacher TweetBoogie. She seems like a sweet girl.
TweetBoogie’s Partner 2 of 6And this is TweetBoogie's dance partner. He seems like a nice boy.
Getting started 3 of 6Your Grind partner stands behind you. The first rule of Grinding is you don't have to touch when grinding! Although it's never a great sign when your partner is standing so close you can't see him.
Now, move 4 of 6Both partners bend their knees and move their hips in the same circular motion. This is TweetBoogie making her "around and around and around" face.
Lean to the Side 5 of 6If you don't know each other very well, you both may choose to lean in opposite directions to show you don't want your partner all up in your face. All up in other parts, yes, but not the face.
Stay Classy 6 of 6TweetBoogie reminds us the dance can be tasteful. It doesn't have to be raunchy. This is TweetBoogie making her "I don't know you, don't touch me," face.
I suppose Grinding is the new Bump.
And The Bump got me thinking about a more innocent time in my own childhood, when boys and girls would get together and play innocuous board games. Like Twister.