Over the course of the past year, I’ve written openly and honestly about my personal struggles with my physical health and with the emotional toll going through a divorce takes on a person. It’s been a hard twelve-or-so months, and like many people dealing with a concentrated period of stress and pain, I’ve consistently found solace in my kitchen cupboard during this tough time. Right or wrong, good or bad, food became a crutch that got me through the rough patches — and my current pants size most definitely reflects that.
But let it be noted that with the exception of a brief, somewhat dark time during my early 20s when I lived almost exclusively on ramen noodles and cigarettes (*shudder*), I’ve never been anything close to what you might call a skinny girl. I’ve always been a woman who had voluminous curves and loved them, even when my shape didn’t reflect the prevailing fashion (remember that horrible “heroin chic” era? GAH.). I’ve personally never, ever felt angst over not being a size 2, or heck, even a size 6 for that matter. HOWEVER. There’s a clear, obvious difference — to me, as someone who knows my body well — between womanly curves and lumpy unhealthiness. My friends, I have crossed solidly over into lumpy territory.
*shakes fist at kitchen cupboard*
Now, I could beat myself up about this, sure. But who among us hasn’t gone through a tough time and sought solace where they perhaps shouldn’t have? Who hasn’t indulged overly much to “reward” themselves for getting through days when life seemed overwhelming and hard? I NEEDED those cookies to get me through, is what I’m saying. DON’T YOU JUDGE ME.
But all kidding aside, the truth is that I’ve now hit that dreaded point where a fairly good portion of my clothes simply no longer fit me. Including every single pair of jeans I own. EVERY. SINGLE. PAIR. And I love wearing jeans.
Something clearly must be done, and fast.
So instead of rewarding myself with food, I decided that from here on out I’m going to start rewarding myself with aspirational clothing — pieces I dearly want and would love to wear, but in something more aligned with a size reflecting a healthy weight for my body than my current, cookie-bloated size.
Enter Levi’s Bold Curve Jeans.
Yep, that’s right. I actually went out last week and snagged myself a pair of Classic Bold Curve Bootcut in the Broken Black Wash — a nicely worn, dark blue hue — in the pants size I want and need to be in. I’ve long been a fan of the stylish versatility of the boot cut — I can’t abide the clinginess of skinny jeans, honestly — and these lovelies will be waiting for me to slip them on when I hit my weight loss goal. Now that’s something worth giving up cookies for, right?
I know lots of moms who’ve struggled with their weight after having kids, and who like me need some incentive to let go of the cookies (or just stop shoveling leftover mac and cheese into their mouths over the sink — pick your poison). Do you have any “aspirational” pieces of clothing — jeans, or something else — you use to help get yourself back on track and into a healthier size? Let me know in comments!