Parenting Advice That Will Kill Your Self-EsteemStefanie Wilder Taylor
Ever gotten a bit of passive-aggressive parenting advice that felt more like you got a jab in the kidneys with an X-Acto knife (also isn’t it funny that kidneys is spelled the way I just spelled it and not with an “ies” the way it should be)? Is it possible that I’m too easily annoyed? Yes. But, I still think that a lot of us have been there where another parent has made a comment and suddenly you feel like you have been corrected and it kills your self-worth for a few seconds – give or take 10 years.
Look, I realize that not everyone who makes a not-so-helpful parenting comment or suggestion is trying to be an ass but I am saying that until you are the victim of this kind of mom-on-mom crime, you may not realize the impact of what was meant to just be a tiny suggestion or offhanded comment.
Moms (and many dads but certainly not as many) are vulnerable — most especially new parents. I can only speak for myself but when I have been “other mothered” I tend to think about it for days and ponder my ability to parent well even if the comment was ridiculous! So maybe I need therapy but maybe I’m just a normal neurotic mom and more people should keep their comments to themselves. Here are 10 examples.
Car Seat Police 1 of 10
"You don't rear face your three-year-old? Don't you know how dangerous that is?" I don't know about you, but I turned my kids around as soon as they hit the weight requirement. My kids screamed and only screamed in the car until they were sitting forward facing and could watch more than their toes for forty minutes in LA traffic.
Also in the same vein, "Kids should use a booster until they're at least 11." Whatev.
photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/eclogite/
Nail polish no no 2 of 10
"Is that regular nail polish? You know, they make non-toxic nail polish for kids." OH! I prefer toxic when it comes to most things. But good to know.
image source: flickr
Snack attack 3 of 10
"There's an organic version of that snack that's just as delicious!" I always feel that loosely translates to "You suck at parenting and feed your children garbage." I know, I said loosely.
You have a job? 4 of 10
"I could never be away from my kids all day long. These years go by way too fast!" I actually don't even have a full-time job but even when I work for a few weeks at a time, I've heard this and had major trouble getting over the sting.
Breast is best 5 of 10
I KNOW! I TRIED! I GET IT! WE ALL GET IT! I'm not going to turn this post into an "I tried to breast feed but it didn't work out" rant but suffice it to say that if you tell a bottle feeding mother that "breast is best" chances are that she will want to beat you with a hospital grade breast pump. Which if you've ever had to deal with a hospital grade breast pump and I have, for months, you would know it would hurt like a mother.
Walkers, Exersaucers and Jumpers oh my! 6 of 10
"You know that walker (Exersaucer, jumper, insert sit-in device here) will hurt the development of her hips and ability to walk on her own." Also a friend heard a FB comment that called a walker a "circle of neglect," which is sort of funny in a NOT FUNNY way.
P.S. Doesn't my daughter look so bummed to be locked in the "circle of neglect?"
Shopping cart shame 7 of 10
"You shouldn't let your kid be in the basket of the cart! I've heard of kids tipping over and getting a head injury!" or "You should really belt her in." I hear you, I will be careful, but back-off.
Don’t do drugs 8 of 10
"Any child birth drugs will affect your natural bonding." You know what else it will affect? The level of hysterical, gut slamming, maniacal pain you might have to experience. In a good way.
image source: flickr.com/photos/sirira2000/
Charter school? How dare you! 9 of 10
"If you don't send your child to your public school, how will your public school ever get better?" or "I don't believe in charter schools." Or anything in this area of thinking. I love my kids' school. If you want to prove a point about education and use your children to do it that's up to you but let's all support each other, m'kay?
Comfort nursing caution! 10 of 10
"Comfort nursing your one-year-old after a shot could lead to an eating disorder." This was told to my friend by a former pediatrician! Hence the word former. Like we don't have enough to worry about in terms of damaging their delicate psyches. Sheesh.
image source: www.flickr.com/photos/sanofi-pasteur/
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