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Kristen Howerton

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Kristen Howerton is a professor of pyschology and mom of four children within four years via birth and adoption. She's been blogging at Rage Against the Minivan as a coping skill since 2006. In the spring of 2010, Kristen lost her long and passionate battle against the minivan. It now sits in her driveway covered in crushed cheerios and remnants of her self-esteem.

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Best Satire Reviews on Amazon

By Kristen Howerton |

There are a few things in life that make me inexplicably happy no matter what mood I’m in…things that restore my faith in humanity and lift my spirits regardless of what’s going on. Flashmobs are one of those things. I just grin even at the idea of random people coming together under the purpose of bringing cheer through a surprise dance. But there is another convergence of random people bringing joy that I want to talk about today: the phenomenon of satirical Amazon reviews.

The comment section of an Amazon listing seems an unlikely place to find joy, and for most product listings this is probably true. However, through coordinated efforts that are beyond my understanding, there are a small number of products that people have singled out to receive a veritable concert of mockery in the review section. And the results? Hilarious. Laugh-until-you-cry funny. And they make me very, very happy.

Phantom Amazon satire reviewers: I know making a mockery of Amazon reviews is probably a thankless task. You spend your time and creative energy for no money and little recognition. And to you, I’d like to say a heartfelt THANK YOU. Thank you for making the world a better place through sarcasm.

Here are a few of my favorite reviews, but to really get the fullness, you’ll have to click through and read them all on Amazon.

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Best Satire Reviews on Amazon

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Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer "For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I'll call it South Side Story."

Any other hilarity I’m missing in the comment section of Amazon.com?

 

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You can find Kristen Howerton  blogging at Rage Against the Minivan, or avoiding housework over at Facebook or Twitter. Other posts you might enjoy:

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About Kristen Howerton

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Kristen Howerton

Kristen Howerton is a professor of psychology and mom of four children within four years via birth and adoption. She's been blogging at Rage Against the Minivan as a coping skill since 2006. var sc_project=8124762; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="ea310306"; Read bio and latest posts → Read Kristen's latest posts →

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5 thoughts on “Best Satire Reviews on Amazon

  1. Amanda says:

    http://www.amazon.com/BIC-Cristal-1-0mm-Black-MSLP16-Blk/dp/B004F9QBE6

    just…. all of the reviews of this page. all of them are excellent :D

  2. Hayley says:

    Thank you! Made my night!

  3. Joy says:

    Words with Friends board game is another:

    http://www.amazon.com/Zynga-Words-Friends-Classic-Game/dp/B008KGR2OS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1359035525&sr=8-1&keywords=words+with+friends+board+game

    One of my favorite lines: “It’s a physical board game of a virtual board game of a physical board game.”

  4. [...] Best Satire Reviews on Amazon – Kristen Howerton One of my favorite bloggers condensed some of the best satirical Amazon reviewers in one place. Laugh away. [...]

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