Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and so it’s that time of year again when I dig down deep into my bottomless well of amorous knowledge.
Because I like you and in all honesty, I want you to be all that you can be when it comes to your inner wolf. And your love life.
For a lot of people, Valentine’s Day means a heart-shaped box of supermarket chocolates and some flowers and a card. That’s fine; it’s the same groove we’ve all settled into at one time or another. But why not shake things up this year a little? Why not dream beyond the requisite peck on the cheek and the monotonic, “I love you, Smoogums!,” and go for the gold?!
After all, it IS Olympic season once more, and who better to win a couple of nice, shiny medals in the game of lust than you, you wild beast, you!
Of course, you’re welcome to do the same old boring thing again this year if you’re too tired and washed-up to deal with the little Barry White standing out there on your shoulder, whispering baritone advice in your ear.
It’s your call.
Still, for those of you with the lust and the desire still alive and kicking around down in the basement, for those of you whose fires are still burning hot and bright down in your locomotive engine, I am here to offer you a one-way ticket to the private beaches of a land called Satisfaction!
Here, then, are a dozen foods long believed to be aphrodisiacs. Why not hunt down a few this year and show your lover that you mean business?
I mean, c’mon, it’s Valentine’s Day, ya’ll, and it’s high time that we start to own it.
Garlic 1 of 12
Most people don't think of garlic as having much love-infused power, but they are wrong. Lots of learned lovers say that garlic gets the juices flowing, and who am I to argue? So this year, enjoy some with your partner and let it work its blood-pumping magic on you crazy kids! (Just don't speak to each other in the morning, like usual.)
Asparagus 2 of 12
Chocolate 3 of 12
Okay, here's the deal. Everyone knows that chocolate and romance kind of go together. But did you know why? Well, it turns out that the greatest sweet treat known to man is a huge source of serotonin. And what's that, you ask? Serotonin is a monoamine neurotransmitter. What's that? WHO CARES?! Just eat some and kiss me, you fool!
Chili Peppers 4 of 12
Chili peppers just seem sexy, no? They're bright and shiny and they're hot and spicy, and frankly, I get a little worked up just thinking about them! Plus, they contain capsaicin, a blood-rushing, nerve-tingling, natural love elixir. So, there you go: make it hot.
Oysters 5 of 12
Oysters have a legendary reputation as being an aphrodisiac, yet few people know why. That's where I come in. These shellfish contain a high level of zinc, according to the Huffington Post. And zinc, they say, is like a fire under your libido. Mmmm, would you like to share a dozen with me some time? Grrrrrrrr.
Honey 6 of 12
You don't need me to spell it out for you in order to imagine all the wild ways that honey can be used to enhance a romantic evening. But in between your shenanigans, don't forget to actually eat a few spoonfuls with that someone special, too! The natural sugars in honey make it a food that get a body in the mood. Pour some sugar on me!
Figs 7 of 12
Everything about figs is sexy. The way they look, the way the taste, the way they feel, all of it contributes to the fig's longstanding reputation as a food for lovers. Even Cleopatra claimed it to be her favorite food, so that right there tells you something, right? (Note: no, dude, Fig Newtons are not figs.)
Pomegranate 8 of 12
Eggs 9 of 12
They say that eggs, especially raw ones (if you're so inclined), are a natural stress-reducer and hormonal equalizer. I'm not sure how that all plays out in the romance department, but hey, I know that whenever I gobble an Egg McMuffin I am a happy, happy man. So, there must be something to it, right?
Basil 10 of 12
Rumor has it that basil's sweet scent and undeniable taste can flat out improve your sexual drive. I don't find that hard to believe, either. Have you ever laid eyes on a hot pizza margherita covered in fresh basil leaves and not felt a little tingly inside? I didn't think so. That's amore!
Beer! 11 of 12
Oooh, boy! I am always really glad to see beer pop up on any kind of list of good things, especially if that list also includes a roll in the hay! Some say that stout beer has the highest aphrodisiac qualities, but judging by the fact that this beverage is responsible for a very long list of late-night hook-ups dating back to, I dunno, the cave men, I'd say that most beers will probably do the trick. Cheers!
Wine 12 of 12
Ahhhhh, the best for last. Wine. Vino. The Food of the Gods. What can we say about wine's majestic power over the ebbs and flows of romantic inclinations that hasn't been said before, by poets much better at it than you or I? Perhaps there are scientific qualities within a glass of wine that factor into it's reputation as the most magical drink on Earth. And perhaps not. Who even cares?
The bottom line is, when you uncork a nice bottle of wine on Valentine's Night with the one you love (or crave), you are that much closer to a kiss on the lips than you have been all day. And THAT, my friends, is what we've been talking about all along.
You can also find Serge on his personal blog, Thunder Pie.
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