Today is about giving, loving, accepting, and more than anything else, eating. It would be remiss of us over here at ‘Eating Over The Sink’ to not help guide you through this “OH SO IMPORTANT MEAL” (full caps) for the simple reason that we truly believe in eating: We talk about it, a lot, and we engage in it frequently (every 45 minutes, at least). While Sam is someone who slaves over a stove tackling creative recipes (that she’ll make even if no one wants to eat it) and Allana slaves over the wine bottle whilst encouraging Sam’s creative endeavors (Allana eats everything Sam makes) – we both truly believe that Holiday eating brings out the best (and absolute worst) in everyone.
With that sentiment, let us offer you our ‘Eating Over The Sink Christmas Dinner Manifesto.’ We hope it helps you, eases you, fires you up and more than anything else makes you enjoy this wonderfully prepared (most likely by you) meal.
The Manifesto (sometimes we call it rules – but that sounds pushy):
1. SIT DOWN. Please, for everything that is good in the world put your butt in a chair. Not only do you deserve it, above all else, but no one can enjoy their meal while you are fussing about. Girl, this isn’t the night to eat over the sink.
2. Take off that damn apron. Unless you’re 85 or Mrs. Patmore from Downton Abbey, it’s not cute if you’re still wearing an apron at the dinner table.
3. If your parents are eating with you they are most likely going to mouth stuff at you. It happens. Just remember that “She looks so grown up” (about your child) looks a lot like “Shut the F – up.” (about you). It’s confusing. Don’t jump to conclusions.
4. Remember that time your husband/wife and you had that long conversation about all your relatives in front of your kids? Your children are going to repeat everything tonight. Start coming up with excuses.
5. This is a good time to remember that your children have bionic hearing. Remember when your mom used to yell at you for listening to music too loud? She was right. You’re now partially deaf.
6. You aren’t going to wake up and start running on boxing day. It’s not happening. Let it go. Eat the pie because there will be no pie next Wednesday.
7. Sing for your supper. This only applies to those of you who didn’t make dinner. If you made the meal you are allowed to sit at the table (apron free) and do whatever you want. BUT, if you are guest you must SING FOR YOUR SUPPER. You’re shy? Shut up. No one cares. You’re a thousand times more interesting than you’ll ever give yourself credit for. If all else fails bring up other people’s really emotional stories and let that play out.
8. Small talk blows. Do you love your brother? sister? cousin-in-law? TELL THEM. Why the hell not? Life is short and you’ll never get credit for things you never said or did. Be amazing. Don’t worry about right and wrong…be lovely.
9. Timing is everything. Just because it’s Christmas doesn’t mean you should say EVERYTHING. Choose your battles.
10. DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE AT THE TABLE. In fact no one wants to see your phone. And trust me, no one wants to see that picture of your turkey.
11. Call someone. Not at the dinner table, but call someone who isn’t expecting your call. Tell them you are thinking about them and that you want to see more of them in 2014. Kindness is the most amazing digestive aid in the world.
12. Remember all of the following things are perfectly normal for a holiday feast: crying, 1-67 uncomfortable comments, appeasing the relative who says most of the uncomfortable comments, great music, bad song choices, too much starch, at least one plate that is just a pool of gravy, “remember when” stories that are horrifying, a break up, funny hats, the person who starts cleaning up too soon to show everyone that they are cleaning up too soon, hugs, side hugs, too much wine, forgiveness, a “holy crap” we forgot to buy a present for so-and-so and general good/bad (hopefully more good) times.
Whatever happens, there will be a good story. Which truly, for us anyway, makes it all worth it.
Love Sam and Allana
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