Previous Post Next Post

Babble Voices

With

Sarah James

Connect with Sarah

An avid blogger, Sarah James can be found regularly contributing her musings on style, beauty and parenting at her personal blog, Whoorl.com, and has been featured on several television shows and print publications. She lives in Southern California with her husband, 6-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter.

Brought to you by

Superbowl Rules at the Whoorl Household

By Sarah James |

Hut!

1. You must consume at least four of the following six culinary delights. Bloody Mary, Rotel cheese dip, chili dog, Buffalo wings, Fritos, fudge brownies.

2. It’s perfectly acceptable to start drinking beer at noon. Hey, we’re on Pacific Standard Time over here.

3. No one is allowed to talk about mommy’s horrible fantasy football season. NO ONE. (Yes, I’ve played fantasy football for almost a decade. I also play in the same league as my husband, which means things can get a little uncomfortable when, let’s say, mommy and daddy are playing against each other for the championship and ALL THE PRIDE IN THE WORLD. Why are mommy and daddy saying those mean things to each other?)

4. Express kindness and patience when the children ask things like, “Why is the blue man hitting the white man?,” “Can I hike my football (read: Buzz Lightyear doll) in the living room?,” and “WHEN WILL THIS BE OVVVEEEERRRRR? I WANT TO WATCH WOW WOW WUBBZY!”

5. Do the superbowl shuffle. Try your hardest not to get depressed upon googling William Perry and finding this.

6. During halftime, don’t dwell on how many decades Madonna has been singing because, well, you’re old too.

6a. If you have consumed one too many beers at this point, don’t start crying about your fleeting youth. Also, please don’t run upstairs, grab the magnifying mirror, and start over-analyzing your laugh lines and hyperpigmentation. It’s just a halftime show! Oh, look! She’s singing Lucky Star! You used to love that song when you were young and adorable and carefree wahhhhhhhhhhh.

7. Play a game reminiscent of your crazy days of yore. Drink every time a commercial features a car or an animal doing something ridiculous. Wait, scratch that. Let’s face it, the kids will be waking up at the crack of dawn and you can’t be dealing with a hangover. Put that beer down. Right now.

8. Finally, don’t despair over what you are going to do on Sundays until the next NFL season…there’s always Downton Abbey.

More on Babble

About Sarah James

whoorl

Sarah James

An avid blogger, Sarah James can be found regularly contributing her musings on style, beauty and parenting at her personal blog, Whoorl.com, and has been featured on several television shows and print publications. She lives in Southern California with her husband, 6-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter. Read bio and latest posts → Read Sarah's latest posts →

« Go back to Babble Voices

Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Comments, together with personal information accompanying them, may be used on Babble.com and other Babble media platforms. Learn More.

5 thoughts on “Superbowl Rules at the Whoorl Household

  1. Laura Mayes says:

    You had me at 1.

  2. Kate says:

    My husband and I were accused of collusion & conspiracy by the rest of our league after one or the other of us won the title each of the last 5 years.

    We now play in separate leagues, as “No, we’re just both better than you,” was apparently not what everyone else wanted to hear.

  3. Sarah James says:

    Haaa. Kate, that is awesome!

    And L Mayes, get yer ass out to Cali and we can do it up real nice…ROTEL CHEESE DIP, YO.

  4. Elaine says:

    I was on board with your list by #2. While I love culinary delights like you listed, I really love any excuse to consume beer at a barely afternoon hour. It reminds me of being on college which makes me forget for a hot second that I am having my second child in three weeks (and turning 30 next year).

  5. Leslie Capron says:

    I’m totally crashing your party. You are hilarious! And you had me at con queso.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *.

Previous Post Next Post