So after I wrote the post right below this about teens drinking hand sanitizer, HLN (a cable news channel) was looking for a mom blogger to talk about it on Prime Time with Vinnie Politan. And I got to Skype in and be on a panel with a doctor and an expert in teen addiction talking about drinking hand sanitizer. It was a great experience and I got to make my second point (that teens used to be limited only to our own bad ideas but now they have a whole internet full of bad ideas to try), but did not get to make my main point, which is “Why would you drink something that tastes that bad???”
I texted my mother to tell her I was going to be on with Vinnie Politan talking about it, and she replied that the first thing she thought when she saw the hand sanitizer story was, “Do we give them so much stuff that tastes awful that they don’t even MIND the taste?!” Ironic, as she used to give me carob when I was a kid.
Anyway, the truly funny thing about being on the Vinnie Politan show was that I had scheduled (weeks ago) a makeup party at my house to start 10 minutes after I was off the air with Vinnie and the doctor and the addiction expert. So Tiffany my makeup artist (one of my best friends from high school) came early and did a full face on me before I went on Skype, including a Smoky Eye. It was a lot like when she used to do my makeup for high school theater productions, only I was supposed to look like myself, not the Bride of Frankenstein or a Muppet. (Tiffany went on to be a model and actress and then sales director for Mary Kay, and I went on to the glamorous world of educational software and mom blogging. Being friends with her again is one of the best things about having moved back to the Midwest.)
Then I Skyped in and talked to Vinnie, and then Tiffany and I poured wine and the party guests came and we all got Smoky Eyes and talked about sex and online dating and cheese.
The next morning I had a Smoky Eye-slash-wine-slash-Skype hangover, renewed initiative never to do online dating, a dishwasher full of wine glasses, and leftover cheese from the cheese plate (one hard, one soft, one goat).
I love throwing parties (except for that long 20 minutes right before people are supposed to start arriving in which I wonder if anyone will really come because why would anyone actually come to my party because it’s just me?), but my favorite part of the morning after the party is the leftover cheese. I know this may be odd, but I really do love waking up and opening the refrigerator and seeing my little cheese stubs all saran-wrapped and ready for me to turn them into something decadent. This is what I did on Thursday morning:
I put some of this delicious, sweet, shade-gown Haitian fair-trade Singing Rooster Mountain Bleu coffee into my coffee maker and started frothing milk.
Then I took two eggs and cracked them into a mug and added a little cold water and some Baleine sea salt and stirred them up with a fork, while I was heating a saute pan with a little butter in it. I poured the eggs in and let them start to set, and cut off chunks of leftover chevre (soft white goat cheese) and dropped them into the eggs as I scrambled them. I turned off the heat before the eggs were set so they’d be more of a French scrambled omelet than an American scramble, put them on a plate, and hit them with some ground black pepper.
The coffee plus the eggs with chevre = perfection. I was happy the rest of the day, and more productive, and not even remotely tempted to try hand sanitizer. And that made me realize that my mom was right: If we can just get these kids used to delicious coffee and breakfasts made with care, they might not think ingesting non-potable, unpalatable substances is reasonable.